Gunna Hate It

Boolean questions should return TRUE or FALSE. That's it. No debate. No explanation. Just binary logic. But then there's that one colleague who responds with "Well, it depends..." and proceeds to write a novel-length string response that could've been a simple yes/no. The worst part? You're still parsing their answer three coffee refills later, trying to figure out if they meant true or false. It's like asking "Is this variable null?" and getting back the entire Git commit history since 2015.

OH. MY. GOD. The absolute AUDACITY of this job market! 😱 They want THREE programming languages and FIVE whole GitHub repos?! So this absolute LEGEND just pushed five "Hello World" projects and called it a day! 💅 It's the coding equivalent of putting "proficient in Microsoft Word" on your resume because you once wrote a grocery list! The bare minimum malicious compliance is sending me to the MOON right now! Job requirements these days are truly the greatest comedy show on earth!

Free software advocate Richard Stallman having an existential crisis after learning Windows 11's Start menu is a React Native app that devours CPU cycles. Microsoft really said "let's make clicking a button as resource-intensive as possible" and shipped it anyway. The irony of using a JavaScript framework for a core OS function is just *chef's kiss* perfect. Your 32GB RAM gaming rig struggling to open a menu that MS-DOS could handle with 640K. Progress!

The most controversial statement in programming isn't politics or tabs vs spaces—it's whether arrays should start at 0 or 1. This poor woman asked for the truth and got hit with "arrays should start at 1"—a statement so blasphemous to most programmers it's worth crying over. Meanwhile, Lua, MATLAB, and R programmers are nodding in agreement while the rest of us clutch our zero-indexed pearls in horror. The real tragedy? She was probably expecting something less traumatic... like "I deleted the production database."

Content Eddy Vinck JavaScript EddyVinckk Web developers in 2020: If we split our JavaScript into separate files and load them on demand we can make the initial request to the homepage 30Kb smaller Game developers in 2020: Here's a 110Gb download including files we're not even using anymore 7:37 PM Jul 13, 2020 Twitter for Android 1 View Tweet activity 29 Retweets 168 Likes

The eternal truth of programming education: beginners gravitate toward random YouTube tutorials by enthusiastic Indian instructors, completely ignoring the senior developer with actual battle scars who sits right next to them. It's like having Gordon Ramsay offer to cook you dinner, but you'd rather watch a TikTok of someone microwaving a Hot Pocket. The 7-year veteran silently weeps as his hard-earned knowledge gets trumped by "Hello friends, today we will be learning..."