Google Should Hire Me

Let's be honest—your CS degree taught you data structures and algorithms, but your actual programming career is just professional Googling with extra steps. Companies pretend they want you to memorize binary tree inversions, but what they really need is someone who can find that obscure Stack Overflow answer in record time. The real 10x developers aren't the ones who know everything; they're the ones who can craft the perfect search query to fix production at 3 AM. Maybe instead of whiteboard coding, interviews should just measure your Google-fu and how quickly you can find that one line fix for that dependency hell you're in.

Content Giulio Carrara 3rd Software Engineer 1d g Dear recruiters, if you are looking for: - Java, Python, PHP - React, Angular - PostgreSQL, Redis, MongoDB - AWS, S3, EC2, ECS, EKS - nix system administration - Git and CI with TDD - Docker, Kubernetes That's not a Full Stack Developer. That's an entire IT department. Yours truly 8,801 391 comments ProarammerHumor.io

The ancient programmer is speaking! Back in the primordial soup of web development, we coded entire websites in Notepad or Vi like absolute savages. No syntax highlighting, no auto-complete, just pure ASCII and tears. Modern devs with their fancy VS Code and 47 extensions would probably faint at the sight of us manually typing every <table> tag for layout. Those were the days of real grit—when a single misplaced semicolon meant spending three hours debugging, and we LIKED it that way! Kids these days will never understand the character-building experience of FTPing files one by one while praying the connection holds.

Content Robin Hood: steals from the rich to give to the poor Poor person: Gee thanks! I'm rich now! Robin Hood: You're fucking what?

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Ah yes, the "modern" software stack—where simplicity goes to die and your resume gets a steroid injection. What started as "I just want to build a website" has evolved into this technological fever dream where you need 47 different frameworks, 23 APIs, and a small data center just to display "Hello World." The real kicker? Half of these technologies will be deprecated by the time you finish reading this. Your frontend needs React, unless the client prefers Angular, or maybe Vue, or wait—is Flutter hot this week? Don't forget Tailwind because apparently regular CSS wasn't complicated enough. And look at that "optional" messaging layer that's somehow mandatory in every architecture review. Nothing says efficiency like having Kafka, RabbitMQ, and SQS all running simultaneously because different teams couldn't agree on which one to use. The best part? Some poor soul will have to maintain this Jenga tower of dependencies while management wonders why projects take so long to complete.