Google Should Hire Me

Content YAskReddit US-Eleni 12h After you die, you get access to a database with all the information ever known or collected throughout human history. What do you search for first? Discussion 4.5k I 2.0k Share ? BEST COMMENTS Nicoletree 11h 1 Award Find out what database software they use, how much data they have, and begin looking at the table structure and relationships. 4) Reply 1.4k J jeremv1015 6h Plot twist: It's Mongo and the entirety of human history is stored in a single JSON obiect. The top level is a kev called "events" and the value is an unsorted arrav. 4 217 JuniorSeniorTrainee 3h Turns out god is a really nervous DB admin waiting for the inevitable. All the Apocalypse stuff in the Bible was actuallv iust a misunderstanding of him saying "Guvs vou don't get it, I literally built this shit in seven davs when I probablv should've spent vears on it. But management was pressuring me to deliver in seven davs so I had to hack together this garbage and it will definitely break anv minute now. 1 159 Ar4n 2h Mistranslation in the Bible. On the 7th day he tested.

Content Two books "JavaScrint for Dummies" for 9. S99 from vou. 809 s 3.008.

If programming languages were weapons of choice, this is what we'd all be carrying. C++ is basically that Swiss Army knife with 500 functions you'll never use but can't throw away. JavaScript? Those kitchen scissors that somehow cut everything except what you actually need them for. Python gets the chainsaw because it chops through problems with brute simplicity (until you hit a threading issue). Meanwhile, Assembly programmers are performing surgery with precision scalpels because they're controlling every single byte like the control freaks they are. And then there's Visual Basic... literally just a spoon. Not even a sharp spoon. The kind of tool you give to the intern who can't be trusted with anything dangerous. The real joke? We're all still getting paid to use these ridiculous tools to build things that somehow run the entire world. Sleep tight!

Content THE DEEP ABIDING GOAL OF EVERY ENGINEER 15 TO TAKE A THING AND MAKE IT DO A THING IT WASN'T SUPPOSED TO DO

The digital equivalent of arson. Submitting [object Object] into forms is basically declaring war on backend devs. While you're smugly watching the world burn from a safe distance, some poor soul is staring at a stack trace wondering what sins they committed in a past life. It's like leaving a glitter bomb in the code - technically not illegal, but definitely grounds for being blacklisted from the company holiday party.

So they want a "Vibe Coder" who "orchestrates code through the power of AI" and "vibes their way to a brilliant front end product." Translation: We want someone to type prompts into ChatGPT while we pretend we're revolutionizing development. This job description screams "we have no idea what we're doing but we've invested too much in AI to admit it." Soon they'll replace "Senior Developer" with "Prompt Engineering Guru" and wonder why their codebase looks like it was written by a caffeinated squirrel with a keyboard. The funniest part? 42 people actually applied. Desperation truly knows no bounds in this economy.