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Content This is a motherfucking website. And it's tucking bertect. seriousiv, wat tne luck else do you want You probably build websites and think your tive home page is going to get you some lucKIng Awwward banner vou can glue very file and 83 p boner because it finally has box-shadow. Wrong, motherfucker. Let me describe your perfect-ass website: Shit's lightweight and loads fast on all your shitty screens Looks the same in all your shitty browsers ole that visits your site Shit's legible and gets your fucking point across (if you had one instead of just 5mb Well guess what, mothertucker: You. Are. Over-designing Look at this shit. It's a motherfucking website. Why the fuck do you need to animate a fucking trendy-ass banner flag when I hover over that useless piece of shit? You spent hours on it and adde n their iPad with fat sausage fingers will never see that shit. Not nd people will never see that shit, but they don't see any of your shitty shit. You never knew it, but this is your perfect It's fucking lightweight This entire page weighs less than the gradient- Did you seriously load 100kb could say "Hi." at 100px height at the beginni It's responsive You dumbass. You thought you needed media s to whatever It fucking works Look at this shit. You can read it ... that is, if has motherfucking hierarchy. It's using HIML5 tags so you and your bitch-ass browser know what the fuck's in this fucking site. That's semantics mothertucker It has content on the fucking screen. Your sitt s and link t ar dribble account, but you spread it over 7 full screens and make me click some bobbing button to show me how cool the iOnerv ScrollTo pluoir motherlucKer in lLo. I TUcking dare vou This is a website. Look AT IT rollove nev seen one Like the man y who's never grown out his beard rdizations of what should be text nicating a fucking message. This is a reanaked website ook at it.at' Yes, this is fucking satire, you fuck I'm not actually saying your shitty site should look like this. What I'm sayi ing is that all the problems we have with websites are ones we create ourselves. Websites aren't broken by default, they are functional, high-performing, "Good design is as little design as some German motherfucker Epilogue From the philosophies expressed (poorly)

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Content rAskReddit LS-Eleni 12h After you die, you get access to a database with all the information ever known or collected throughout human history. What do you search for first? Discussion 4.5k 2.0k Share BEST COMMENTS NicNoletree 11h 1 Award Find out what database software they use, how much data they have, and begin looking at the table structure and relationships. Reply 1.4k jeremy1015 6h Plot twist: It's Mongo and the entirety of human history is stored in a single JSON object. The top level is a kev called "events" and the value is an unsorted arrav. 217 Junior SeniorTrainee 3h Turns out god is a really nervous DB admin waiting for the inevitable. All the Apocalypse stuff in the Bible was actually just a misunderstanding of him saving "Guvs vou don't get it, I literally built this shit in seven days when I probably should've spent vears on it. But management was pressuring me to deliver in seven davs so I had to hack together this garbage and it will definitely break anv minute now. 4 159 Aran. 2h Mistranslation in the Bible. On the 7th day he tested.

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When your SaaS business is running on a shoestring budget, but security is just a suggestion! Nothing says "enterprise-grade" like storing your entire user authentication data in the browser's local storage where anyone with F12 and 3 brain cells can access it. Firebase auth tokens just chilling in plain sight like they're sunbathing on a public beach. Password security? More like "password suggestion." Who needs proper backend authentication when you can just hope nobody knows how to open dev tools? This is what happens when "move fast and break things" meets "I learned coding from a $12.99 Udemy course that was 80% off."