Until Death

Oh, the ABSOLUTE TRAGEDY of programming languages! 💀 C makes you hate Object-Oriented Programming because WHO NEEDS ORGANIZATION when you can have pure CHAOS?! Python's performance is slower than my grandmother's dial-up internet! Java's memory management is like having a roommate who keeps buying furniture but NEVER THROWS ANYTHING AWAY! C++ will literally SHOOT YOUR LEG OFF with pointer errors and memory leaks! And CSS? Can't even finish the word "CONSISTENCY" because IT DOESN'T KNOW WHAT THAT IS! The audacity of these languages to make us suffer while we pretend to be professional developers! 😭

Content Python programmers afer switching to Javascript: Hmmm let me log this real quick The log: Print 1 sheet of paper Destination ) HP Smart Printing Pages Copies Layout Portrait Color Color More settings

Content MemeCoding memecoder The difference between Java and JavaScript is the same as Corona beer and Corona virus

Content Working Software The jar files that Vivek. the sys-admin, copied into the cluster to hot-fix the production release that brought down the web site. The family meal that Beth, the SRE, missed having to work late to reconcile the CICD pipeline with the hot-fix Vivek made. WHAT YOU SEE WHAT YOW DON'T SEE The weekend that Megan, the Senior Developer, spent fixing code that Jerry, the Junior Developer, left behind when he quit in a huff. The 3 hour argument that the dev-lead had with the product manager trying to avoid corrupting the app's API. Rock) 2019

Content Things I have learnt from this subreddit as a non programmer - Users just do things that they are not supposed to do and It looks like they are purposely trying to break the code. - Legacy code is written and understood only by gods and they only way to convert it into modern code is to fucking write the thing from scratch. - Jobs require ungodly amount of experience. They want a full stack developer EVERY FUCKING TIME. - Senior devs have given up on life and they just do just enough to get their salaries. They work on production just for the thriller. - There is a communication gap between the client and the programmer just because of the fucking management. - You should never work on the main branch and push things to production but its the norm. - Debugging is staring at the code until it works again. - Programmers just copy and paste code. The only real programmers to ever exist are Terry Davis and some random people who maintain libraries that are responsible for doing math on every computer on the planet. - There is just some mystery code in every codebase that appears to do nothing but when removed sets everything in flames. It is usually commented "Don't touch". - If you ask anything on StackOverflow, Its a stupid question. - Sales teams tell the client that the devs can make everything happen even if its computationally impossible. - Its better to take 5 hours solving bugs rather than spend 5 minutes reading the documentation. Programmers don't have lives anyways. - If you are seeking to learn programming learn JavaScript. The next step is to find a new career

The eternal trade-off that haunts our nightmares. Write code fast with Python, then watch it run like a sloth on Ambien. Meanwhile, C++ makes you type for 6 hours straight but executes at the speed of light. And Java? Just hanging around in the middle, making enterprise architects feel validated. The perfect visualization of why your tech stack decision is always wrong no matter what you choose.