The Language Family Drama: Java Meets Its Upgrade

Content ASML uASMLcompany Promoted Can you crack this code? 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 Soft spot for software? Position "java developer" Company "ASMI" Apply; AsmI.comencareers Hungry for more? grab a byte.. asml.com 4 Vote ProdrammerHumor io Learn More Share

Content When employers want 10 years of experience before you turn 20 ILE title HIML for Babies titled

Content SAFELY ENDANGERED HEY IT'S-A THE JAVA BROS! Javal MAMA, WHY-A YOU NEVER REMEMBER MY NAME? I'M-A SORRY Microsoft Java ProarammerHumor.io

The eternal struggle of every developer - trying to remember how to get the damn array length in whatever language you're using. Is it array.size() ? Or array.len() ? Maybe array.length() ? Or just len(array) ? Your brain goes into full mathematical meltdown trying to remember the correct syntax while Stack Overflow is down. Meanwhile, Python folks are smugly typing len(array) while Java developers are muscle-memorizing array.length (no parentheses, because why make it consistent?). And don't get me started on JavaScript with both array.length and string.length() . The true programming interview question should just be "how do you check array length in 5 different languages" - separates the real ones from the Google-dependent coders.

Content Anonymous 050122(Sun)04:09:27 No.68444767 be me go to coffee shop order a hot chocolate with marshmellows overhear two women are talking at the other table pick up programming words like "while 64 KB JPG loop" and "cu" like programming stuff approach their table confidently "Hey guys, are you talking about programming?" they look at me I repeat myself they kinda just nod, they don't continue whatever they were talking about, guess they don't think I will understand I tell them I'm a programmer (gestured at myself with my hands for emphasis) one of them is like "sorry, we're talking about work" (paraphrasing) they seem to be trying to get rid of me I insist and ask her what their conversation was about it takes a while but the other one is like "we were discussing blah blah something about optimization" I have no idea what the fuck she just said, it didn't make any sense to me at all change the topic quickly and ask what programming language she uses she says it's C I say "C is an old language, you should use something cooler like javascript" (that's what I'm learning) they talk to each other quietly (I can't hear what they are saying) one of them asks "anon, where do you work?" I tell them I don't have job, I do programming as a hobby the conversation doesn't continue they leave a few minutes later Where did I do wrong?

Content STOP DOING COMPUTER SCIENCE Computers were supposed to solve math, NOT to be programmed C is a LETTER, not a language Wanna print() something? Write it in a PAPER with a PEN "I'm writing a recursive method with threads to optimize the CPU usage in a 0.02" THIS IS A NONSENSICAL STATEMENT MADE BY DERANGED PEOPLE Look at what PROGRAMMERS have been demanding your respect for, after all the led lights we put in their computers: (This is real COMPUTER SCIENCE, done by real COMPUTER SCIENTISTS): edev EDEV BAStename exist ok True) actidir CONDA BASEename etccondaac deacdir CONDA BASEename etcconda os.makedirs (acti dir, exist ok True) exists eon acti dir'edevon.sh' cot a deac dir redevo fash os.symlink(BIN'edevon. sh', con) if not os.p os.symlink(BI edevoff.sh'eoff Syntax eror on token throws interfoce exp Syntax erfor on token expected after this iC Syntax error, insert: SimpleName: to complete Q Syntax error, insert Identifier ( to complete Meth Syntax error, insert " to complete MethodDecia Syntax error on token expected Java(1610612 syntax error on tokens exoected alter this toke Syntax error, insert y to complete interfaceBod The method SileAnalysish is undefined for the tuie FUNNY COLORED LETTERS 178 COMPILATION ERRORS????? A FAKE TEAPOT YOU CAN'T USE IF PROGRAMMING WAS REAL HOW COME NOBODY THOUGHT IN DOING while(true) print(money); THEY PLAYED US FOR ABSOLUTE FOOLS