Java Isn't Stressful At All

Content Anonymous 123015(Wed)13:20:20 No.52136895 Let's write a Java program, one line per post. public class 4chan java Sun Microsystems 15 KB PNG : Anonymous 123015(Wed)13:22:04 No.52136914 52137050 52137154 52137176 52137440 52139445 52139611 52139839 52139845

SWEETIE, HONEY, DARLING! The AUDACITY of this "Josh, 25 years old" claiming Java isn't stressful?! I. CANNOT. EVEN. 💀 Meanwhile, the rest of us are over here DROWNING in NullPointerExceptions, wrestling with verbose syntax that requires a NOVEL just to print "Hello World," and sobbing quietly into our 17th cup of coffee while waiting for our enterprise applications to compile! The contrast with the wise elderly man's face is SENDING ME. It's giving "this child has NO IDEA what horrors await." Come back in 10 years, Josh, when you're maintaining legacy Java code with 500 AbstractSingletonProxyFactoryBeans and THEN we'll talk about stress!

Content To be honest, I don't actually need a Java developer but a Javascript developer. But Java and Javascript are very similar, aren't they? Yeah 00 Is this guy stupid?!

Ah, the eternal civil war among programmers trying to get the size of something. Is it count() ? size() ? length ? sizeof() ? len() ? Every damn language and library decided to pick their own favorite, and now we're all just Spider-Men pointing at each other in confusion. Nothing says "I'm a seasoned developer" like muscle memory making you type the wrong size function in every language and then cursing under your breath when the IDE throws a red squiggly line. Consistency? In programming? That's a good joke!

Content Intelli: Are you sure you want to commit? Your code has 420 warnings. Me: I'll allow it.

Content 10 WAYS TO TROLL YOUR DEVELOPER 1: CHANGE ALL CONSOLE SETTINGS TO BLACK ON BLACK. STRANGE.. NO DEBUG PRINTOUTS 2: HAVE THEM FIX OLD CODE. 3: REQUIRE IT TO WORK ON ALL PLATFORMS. IT WILL HAVE TO RUN ON IOS, ANDROID, WINDOWS PHONE AND THIS ROTARY FROM 1931. 4: HIRE UNQUALIFIED DEVELOPERS. CHAD WILLBE DOING UI. :DISREGARD ANY NEED FOPTESTING A TESTING PHASE (ISN'T REALLY IN THE BUDGET. IT'S JUST GONNA HAVE TO WORK B 6: REQUIRE IT TO WORK FOR ALL USER GROUPS. MR. NIBBLES SAID ITS VERY UNINTUITIVE. MEOW. 7: POP YOUR HEAD IN EVERY FIVE MINUTES TO BOND OVER YOUR STUPID COWORKERS SHARON USES A QUESTION MARK WHEN SHE GOOGLES A QUESTION. ! 8: BLOCK ALL ACCESS TO STACK OVERFLOW. NOW, NOW, NO CHEATIN VELD 9: MAKE ALL TASKS TOP PRIORIT THE DATABASE NEEDS TO BE UP AND RUNNING ASAP, AS WELL AS THE AUDIO ENGINE, CRITICAL AND ALSO 3D BUTTON SHADING. 10:ASK A DEV TO 'FIX YOUR COMPUTER' MR. NIBBLES WAS WATCHING GOOD WIFE AND SUDDENLY THIS BLOC THINGY CAME 70 re War and Peas