Cries in build.gradle

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Java devs watching JavaScript desperately add async and multiprocessing like they're collecting infinity stones. Meanwhile Java's been handling threads since '95 and these JS folks are acting like they invented parallel computing. Next they'll "discover" static typing and call it revolutionary. The circle of programming life: wait long enough and your ancient features become someone else's breakthrough innovation.

Content 10:22 40 45 Thread Kelly Vaughn g in X kvlly His palms are sweaty Knees weak, arms are heavy The unit tests are failing already Code spaghetti He's nervous, But at his laptop he looks calm and ready To squash bugs But he keeps on forgetting 4:47 30 Aug 19 Twitter for Android 106 Retweets 494 Likes Tweet your reply

Why meticulously import six separate Java utility classes when you can just slap that wildcard import and call it a day? Sure, your IDE might silently hate you, your code reviewer might have a minor aneurysm, and you're technically loading unnecessary classes into memory... but look at all those keystrokes you saved! The absolute power move of typing import java.util.*; is the programming equivalent of showing up to a formal dinner in sweatpants. It works, but at what cost to your dignity?

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