That's Why My Laptop Is So Noisy

The great FPS divide - where one group has a complete meltdown if their game drops below 100 frames per second, while the other group just silently endures slideshow-level performance like battle-hardened veterans. Remember coding on those ancient machines where compiling took so long you could brew coffee, drink it, and still have time for existential dread? That's the 30 FPS crowd - they've seen things, man. Meanwhile, the 100+ FPS folks are like those junior devs who complain when npm install takes more than 10 seconds.

The eternal curse of knowing how to code: suddenly everyone thinks you're also a walking Best Buy Geek Squad. Family gatherings become tech support sessions, and "I work with software" translates to "I can resurrect your decade-old HP printer that's possessed by demons." The logic loop here is beautiful. You start with the rational take—programming and printer troubleshooting are completely different skill sets. One involves elegant algorithms and clean code; the other involves sacrificing goats to appease the printer gods. But then muscle memory kicks in. You've already googled the error code. You're already checking if it's plugged in. You're in too deep. The real kicker? You WILL fix it. Not because you know anything about printers, but because you know how to read error messages and have the patience to actually restart the spooler service. Which somehow makes you more qualified than 90% of the population.

You spend weeks researching parts, comparing benchmarks, and finally drop $1200 on your dream machine. Then some YouTuber with industry connections and free components casually builds something twice as powerful for the "same budget." Suddenly your pride and joy feels like a potato with a fan strapped to it. The eternal cycle of hardware buyer's remorse—where your PC is obsolete before you've even finished installing the bloatware.

That spider living in your PC case for two years just got evicted by a nuclear thermal event. Turns out cranking those settings to 4K ultra transforms your $3000 gaming rig into a functional space heater. The spider probably thought Chernobyl was happening all over again. Your GPU is now technically classified as a weapon of mass destruction in 12 countries. But hey, those ray-traced reflections look nice for the 8 minutes before thermal throttling kicks in.

Corporate: "Can you spot the difference between a gold bar and a high-end GPU?" Developers in 2024: "They're the same picture." With GPUs costing as much as precious metals these days, training that fancy ML model might require a second mortgage. Remember when we just worried about RAM prices? Those were simpler times.

Classic box-and-stick trap setup, but instead of cheese for a mouse, it's RAM sticks for the OpenAI CEO. Because when you're training GPT models that require ungodly amounts of compute and memory, you develop a Pavlovian response to hardware. The joke here is that Sam Altman's AI empire runs on so much computational power that he'd literally crawl under a cardboard box for some extra RAM. Those training runs aren't gonna optimize themselves, and when you're burning through millions in compute costs daily, a few sticks of DDR4 lying on the ground start looking pretty tempting. It's like leaving a trail of GPUs leading into your garage. He can't help himself – the models must grow larger.