Rocks With Delusions Of Intelligence

The classic "have you tried turning it off and on again?" approach has apparently made it to the operating room! When your code throws inexplicable errors, rebooting is your Hail Mary pass. When your patient flatlines... maybe try literally anything else first? The terrifying reality that the same troubleshooting logic we apply to our stubborn servers is being suggested for human bodies is peak programmer humor. Next they'll be suggesting to check if the patient is properly plugged in or needs a firmware update.

Someone's waging war against the entire IT industry standards with this unholy abomination. The color-coding on cables and ports? Just a conspiracy by Big Cable to sell more wires! That yellow cable jammed into what's clearly not its matching port is the digital equivalent of putting pineapple on pizza. The blue tape-wrapped wires crammed into random pins would make any network engineer develop an eye twitch. Next up: "Firewalls are just a myth created by antivirus companies" and "Have you tried connecting your HDMI to the toilet? Works fine for me!"

When the hotel advertises "high-speed internet" but you show up and it's just two ethernet cables you need to physically connect between buildings. Sure, technically it's a "direct connection" with "no router bottlenecks." Next they'll tell me their cloud service is just a USB stick taped to a weather balloon.

Ah, the classic GPU sag solution for people who spent $2000 on graphics but $0 on a proper support bracket. Nothing says "I'm a practical engineer" like propping up your precious RTX with a shotgun shell. Bonus points for the red one that matches absolutely nothing in your build. The irony of using something designed to explode to prevent catastrophic hardware failure is just *chef's kiss*. Next up: using a grenade pin as a cable management solution.

That moment when you enable Secure Boot and your fancy RGB gaming PC refuses to boot up. The top panel shows Tom and Jerry eagerly pressing the power button, full of hope and excitement. The bottom panel? Pure panic as they realize they've just bricked their system. Secure Boot is like that friend who promises to protect you but then locks you out of your own house. Pro tip: always have a backup plan before messing with UEFI settings, unless you enjoy the thrilling adventure of rescue USBs and BIOS resets!

That ancient Windows XP machine gathering cobwebs in your closet? Tragic. But the moment you install Linux on that same hardware? RESURRECTION MODE ACTIVATED! Nothing quite matches the satisfaction of bringing a 15-year-old laptop back from the dead with a lightweight distro. Suddenly your "obsolete" hardware is running smoother than your coworker's brand new $2000 machine that's drowning in bloatware. The penguin strikes again!