Rocks With Delusions Of Intelligence

Back in the 60s, programmers were literally PUNCHING CODE into cards by hand! 🤯 The person in the image is holding up punch cards with the caption "COMPILERS TOOK MY JOB" - it's basically the original "robots are stealing our jobs" but for coding! Before compilers existed, humans had to manually convert code into machine-readable formats. Then BAM! Compilers showed up and were like "I got this" and an entire profession vanished faster than free pizza at a hackathon! Those punch card operators never saw it coming!

The slow transformation into a full clown as you try to sell AMD products only for customers to walk out with Intel and Nvidia instead. It's the hardware equivalent of recommending Vim to a new programmer and watching them install Visual Studio Code. The pain is real when you give honest tech advice but customers just follow whatever their favorite YouTuber said last week. That 14700K + 5070Ti combo? Doesn't even exist, but they'll swear their cousin's roommate got one on sale.

Ah, the sticker that launched a thousand panic attacks. For the youngsters: computers used to store years as two digits to save precious memory. So 1999 was just "99" in code. When 2000 hit, systems would roll over to "00" and potentially think it was 1900, causing chaos with calculations, dates, and potentially launching nuclear missiles (or so the media claimed). The solution? Turn everything off and hope for the best. Spoiler alert: we survived, but Best Buy made a killing selling these stickers to terrified boomers who thought their toasters might become sentient.

The expectation vs reality of PC building in one perfect image. Left side: your optimistic brain picturing a clean build with components neatly arranged. Right side: the eldritch horror that emerges when you actually try to manage 47 different cables in a case designed by someone who clearly hates humanity. That moment when you realize cable management isn't a skill—it's a dark art requiring sacrifices to ancient gods and at least three hands. The box said "tool-free installation" but forgot to mention you need a PhD in topology and the patience of a saint.

The classic "have you tried turning it off and on again?" approach has apparently made it to the operating room! When your code throws inexplicable errors, rebooting is your Hail Mary pass. When your patient flatlines... maybe try literally anything else first? The terrifying reality that the same troubleshooting logic we apply to our stubborn servers is being suggested for human bodies is peak programmer humor. Next they'll be suggesting to check if the patient is properly plugged in or needs a firmware update.

Let's be honest, that microscopic blue sliver labeled "To run shit better/futureproof" is the lie we tell ourselves. The massive red circle of truth? "To have even cooler PC." We're all just hardware addicts pretending we need that 4090 Ti for "computational efficiency" when really we just want to see our RGB reflection in tempered glass while Discord runs at 600 FPS. The practical justification for upgrading is basically a rounding error compared to the primal desire for shiny new components.