Rocks With Delusions Of Intelligence

Oh snap! The ultimate tech upbringing debate just got REAL ! 😂 Someone wants to study Mac vs Windows kids, but that reply is pure gold—"I installed Linux at 12" followed by "Autistic children will be discluded for skewing results." As someone who compiled their first kernel before learning algebra, I feel personally attacked! The unspoken truth we all know: those Linux-at-12 kids are now either running tech companies or debugging your production servers at 3am while drinking energy drinks straight from an IV drip. The stereotype is too accurate it hurts!

When you order a new GPU but the delivery time is measured in geological epochs. That new RTX 5090 looking suspiciously like Big Ben's taller, more RGB-obsessed cousin. "Hey bro, I can run Crysis at 8K, but I'll also tell you it's tea time while blocking traffic in downtown London." The ultimate flex isn't the frame rate—it's making everyone late for work because your graphics card is a landmark.

The eternal hardware naming convention hell strikes again! On the left, the desperate plea of every tech enthusiast who just wants to buy a damn monitor without needing a cryptography degree. On the right, hardware manufacturers (MSI, GIGABYTE, ASUS) proudly showcasing their latest creation: a jumble of random letters and numbers that probably took longer to name than design. Nothing says "we understand consumer psychology" like naming your product "XD-MBYG04K-URS3LF" — because who wouldn't remember that during their next Best Buy trip? Meanwhile, Computex just reinforced that hardware companies would rather eat glass than create memorable product names. At this point, I'm convinced they're just letting cats walk across keyboards for the naming process.

Nvidia's marketing department working overtime to impress people who haven't upgraded since 2012! Comparing their shiny new RTX 5060 Ti to the ancient GT 710 is like bragging that your Tesla outruns a horse and buggy. "50x faster" sounds impressive until you realize they're benchmarking against a GPU that was already budget-tier when Obama was president. Next headline: "New iPhone charges 100x faster than telegraph machines!"

Remember when we actually needed DxDiag? That little Windows diagnostic tool was our sacred ritual before installing a new game. "Can I run Crysis?" wasn't a meme—it was a genuine existential crisis that required consulting the oracle of DirectX Diagnostics. These days, kids just download whatever 200GB monstrosity Steam is featuring without a second thought. Meanwhile, I still instinctively reach for Win+R and type "dxdiag" whenever something doesn't run right—like checking the oil in a Tesla.

THE AUDACITY OF CORPORATE HARDWARE! That soul-crushing moment when you've built a gaming PC that could probably launch rockets, complete with RGB lighting that rivals Times Square—only to drag yourself to work where you'll spend 8 HOURS OF YOUR PRECIOUS LIFE on a machine that takes 20 minutes to open Excel! The existential dread hits you right in the parking lot as you contemplate whether today will be the day your work PC finally achieves its dream of becoming an actual toaster. Meanwhile, your gaming chair at home sits empty, whispering sweet ergonomic nothings to absolutely no one. The BETRAYAL!