RGB: Rig's Gonna Blow

The AUDACITY of the universe to take my wish so literally! 😭 Our poor Baby Yoda PC gamer makes a completely reasonable wish upon a shooting star for GPU prices to "go down a bit" and what happens? THE STAR ITSELF PLUMMETS! Meanwhile, GPU prices remain stratospherically high, causing our little friend to cry actual tears. The cosmic betrayal! The astronomical disappointment! It's like asking for a raise and your boss hands you an elevator button. DEVASTATING.

That network switch has clearly been running flawlessly since the Clinton administration. Covered in dust, cobwebs, and what appears to be ancient plaster, it's the digital equivalent of that one load-bearing piece of code written by someone who left the company 8 years ago. Touch it? Might as well pull the pin on a grenade while you're at it. This is why network engineers develop that thousand-yard stare by year five.

When the documentation said "bare metal programming" but you took it too literally! Someone's gone and filled their CPU socket with copper wires instead of an actual processor, and now they're proudly declaring "Finally finished installing the Processor 👍" like they've accomplished something revolutionary. That's not how you achieve parallel processing, my friend! Those copper strands aren't going to execute your code, unless your program is "short circuit everything." The only thing this is processing is your motherboard's last will and testament.

Let's be honest, that microscopic blue sliver labeled "To run shit better/futureproof" is the lie we tell ourselves. The massive red circle of truth? "To have even cooler PC." We're all just hardware addicts pretending we need that 4090 Ti for "computational efficiency" when really we just want to see our RGB reflection in tempered glass while Discord runs at 600 FPS. The practical justification for upgrading is basically a rounding error compared to the primal desire for shiny new components.

Finally, a CAPTCHA that separates the real engineers from the Stack Overflow copy-pasters! Good luck finding those 220Ω resistors without pulling out a multimeter and squinting so hard your eyeballs fall out. Those blue ones? Maybe. The brownish ones with the red band? Could be. The tiny ones hidden behind that capacitor? Who knows! I'd rather debug someone else's uncommented legacy code than prove I'm human with this electrical torture test. Somewhere, a hardware engineer is cackling maniacally.

Look, I've been through enough hardware cycles to know the drill. You start planning your build, check PCPartPicker, and immediately realize you need to take out a small loan just for DDR5. Then you hear whispers about the "AI bubble bursting" and suddenly you're doing the math: if NVIDIA stock tanks, maybe—just maybe—those absurdly overpriced components will finally become affordable. The real kicker? We're all sitting here praying for an economic downturn just so we can justify our hobby. That's where we are as a society. Waiting for the market to crash so 1TB of RAM doesn't cost more than a used car. Because apparently every stick of memory now needs to be "AI-optimized" and costs accordingly. Remember when 16GB was overkill? Now Chrome alone needs that just to keep 12 tabs open. The hardware industry really saw us coming.