I Get More Expensive Phones And Laptops Than My Siblings Because I "Program"

That guy who made a 10-year-old video begging you to buy just ONE stick of DDR5 RAM? Yeah, he was a prophet and nobody listened. Now you're stuck paying the price of a used car for memory modules while he's somewhere saying "I told you so." The real tragedy is that 4.5M people watched this wisdom and collectively thought "nah, I'll wait for a sale." Spoiler alert: the sale never came. DDR5 prices went up faster than your technical debt, and now that single stick costs more than your entire first PC build. Time travel is real, it's just locked behind YouTube recommendations trying to warn us about our future financial mistakes.

When your Notepad app somehow needs 8GB of RAM just to display "Hello World" but some absolute madlad is out here trying to run GTA 5 on a PlayStation 3 with the processing power of a calculator watch. The duality of modern software development is absolutely UNHINGED. On one side, we've got bloated Electron apps that could probably run a small country's infrastructure but instead just... open text files. On the other side, game developers are performing literal black magic to squeeze every last drop of performance out of hardware that should've retired years ago. It's giving "I spent six months optimizing my sorting algorithm to save 2ms" versus "I just downloaded 47 npm packages to center a div." The contrast is *chef's kiss* levels of absurd.

HONEY, YOUR HACKY CODE IS VALID! Next time you're feeling guilty about that unholy if-statement monstrosity that somehow passes all tests, just remember we've convinced LITERAL ROCKS to do math by zapping them with electricity! 💅✨ We flattened sand, injected it with lightning, and now it can run TikTok. THE AUDACITY! Your janky workaround is practically elegant by comparison. We're all just digital witch doctors performing silicon sorcery and hoping the computer gods don't notice our blasphemy.

The GPU time warp is real! While some poor souls are already complaining about the RTX 5090 being "terrible," others are mentally stuck in 2022 thinking the 4090 just launched "a few months ago." The pandemic really broke everyone's internal clock—two years of GPU generations might as well be two weeks. Next they'll be shocked to learn we're not still in March 2020 and sourdough isn't trending anymore.

You finally pull the trigger on a shiny new PC after nursing your ancient rig through 8 years of thermal throttling and prayer. Then literally a month later, two major RAM manufacturers collide in a cosmic catastrophe that sends memory prices into the stratosphere. Meanwhile, your new build sits there with its perfectly-timed DDR5 sticks, quietly humming while the rest of the tech world watches RAM prices skyrocket. It's like escaping a burning building and then watching everyone else get trapped inside. You're safe, your wallet is lighter but satisfied, yet you can't help but feel a weird mix of relief and guilt watching your fellow developers struggle to afford 16GB of what used to be reasonably priced memory. Timing is everything in life, and you accidentally nailed it.

The eternal cycle of developer suffering, illustrated through classical art! When you have slow processors, you're forced to write efficient, elegant code. Then your good code unlocks better hardware, which inevitably leads to lazy developers writing spaghetti monstrosities because "hey, we've got processing power to spare!" Then that bloated nightmare code brings even the beefiest machines to their knees, and we're back to square one. It's the circle of technical debt that's been happening since the dawn of computing. Writing optimized code on limited hardware? Noble and disciplined. Having fast processors that run garbage code? Pure decadence that ends in flames. The hardware-software ouroboros continues to eat its own tail for eternity.