I Get More Expensive Phones And Laptops Than My Siblings Because I "Program"

OH MY STARS AND MOTHERBOARDS! He-Man is out here dropping tech wisdom bombs like it's the apocalypse! 💀 Non-upgradeable RAM is the VILLAIN of the computing universe! When that memory is soldered to the motherboard, you're basically TRAPPED in RAM prison for eternity! No upgrades! No escape! Just you and your pathetic 8GB until the end of time! By the power of Grayskull, heed this warning from our muscular tech advisor or face the HORROR of desperately trying to run Chrome with 47 tabs while your soldered RAM screams for mercy!

Ah, the infamous RGB lighting on a gaming PC that's bright enough to signal aliens! The joke here is brilliant—calling it a "demon core" references the notorious nuclear physics experiment that emitted deadly blue light when criticality was reached. Your GPU isn't just rendering frames—it's rendering your retinas useless! That's what happens when you max out those RGB settings and create a miniature sun in your bedroom. The PC master race's equivalent of a nuclear meltdown is three fans of blinding blue light at 3am when you're just trying to fix that one bug. Pro tip: If you can see your skeleton through your hand when checking your RAM, you might want to dial down those settings in the RGB controller software. Your corneas will thank you.

This is what happens when you outsource your IT department to the lowest bidder. The classic "we're working VERY HARD on your issue" while the tech team is literally just kittens playing inside your computer. No wonder your ticket has been "in progress" for three weeks! Those adorable little troubleshooters are probably chewing on your RAM while management assures you they've got their "best people" on it. Next time your computer crashes, just check if it's a hairball in the CPU fan rather than a memory leak.

Ah, the golden era when PC gaming marketing was about as subtle as a segmentation fault. Back when 3dfx was convincing teenage boys that graphics cards weren't just for rendering polygons, but for rendering your social life too. Nothing says "I'm a serious developer" like choosing hardware based on its alleged ability to help you see human anatomy rather than its floating-point performance. The true ancestor of today's "but can it run Crysis?" mentality – except with extra cringe. The PC vs Console war's awkward puberty phase, preserved in all its embarrassing glory.

Ah, the classic GPU sag solution for people who spent $2000 on graphics but $0 on a proper support bracket. Nothing says "I'm a practical engineer" like propping up your precious RTX with a shotgun shell. Bonus points for the red one that matches absolutely nothing in your build. The irony of using something designed to explode to prevent catastrophic hardware failure is just *chef's kiss*. Next up: using a grenade pin as a cable management solution.

Oh. My. GAWD. The absolute TRAVESTY of PC building ignorance on display here! 😱 This nephew is committing CARDINAL SINS of hardware understanding - locking his refresh rate at 144Hz while running 1080p (as if that's some technical achievement), drooling over prebuilts when REAL enthusiasts build their own, and claiming he needs more RGB (because obviously more rainbow lights = more computing power). The final nail in this coffin of tech sacrilege? He thinks upgrading from a 3060 Ti to a 4060 is worth bragging about. Honey, that's barely an upgrade - it's like trading your 2015 Honda Civic for a 2016 Honda Civic and calling yourself a car enthusiast! 💅