Developer Spending Priorities

Ah, the PS/2 ports—where mice and keyboards went to die before USB came along and made everything better. If you recognize these ancient circular connectors without Googling, congratulations! You're officially old enough to have debugged Y2K bugs and probably still have a drawer full of IDE cables "just in case." The blue one's for mice, the green one's for keyboards, and getting them mixed up was the original "USB superposition" before USB-C made us all flip connectors three times. Remember the satisfying click when you finally got the pins aligned? And the sheer panic when you bent one? Good times. Kids these days will never know the joy of rebooting because you dared to unplug your keyboard.

When your gaming laptop hits 9000°C but you're determined to finish that race without thermal throttling. Engineers at Dell never anticipated this level of problem-solving brilliance. Who needs fancy liquid cooling when you can balance your laptop on an industrial fan that probably uses more electricity than your entire neighborhood? Nothing says "I understand computer hardware" like positioning your device directly above what is essentially a tiny helicopter. The irony of running Need for Speed while ensuring your laptop doesn't actually burst into flames is just *chef's kiss*.

Remember when we thought GPU prices couldn't possibly get worse? Then AI showed up like Patrick Star, gleefully inflating Nvidia's market bubble to astronomical levels. Meanwhile, developers are just sitting there like SpongeBob, watching their dream build slip further away with each new AI model release. The sweet irony of wanting to build a gaming PC but discovering the hardware is too busy generating cat pictures and writing emails for tech bros. At this point, selling a kidney might not even cover the down payment on an RTX 4090.

OH. MY. GOD. The slurpee machine is literally having an existential crisis right now! Instead of serving up that sweet, sweet Mountain Dew, it's spewing out raw BIOS errors like it's having the digital equivalent of food poisoning! 💀 That error dump is the machine's way of screaming "I CANNOT EVEN RIGHT NOW!" The caption is pure gold - "bro I'm getting the BIOS flavor" - as if the machine decided debugging itself was more important than quenching someone's thirst. Honestly, I'd pay extra for a cup of pure, unfiltered computer anxiety. For the uninitiated: BIOS (Basic Input/Output System) is the firmware that runs when you first boot up a computer. Seeing it on a slurpee machine means something has gone CATASTROPHICALLY wrong. It's like ordering a coffee and watching the barista have a complete mental breakdown instead.

GASP! You forgot to remove the plastic film from your CPU cooler?! Honey, that's like trying to cool down a raging inferno with a plastic bag! Your poor processor has been SCREAMING in thermal throttled agony while you've been blissfully thinking "wow, such efficient cooling!" It's the hardware equivalent of wearing a winter coat to the beach and wondering why you're not getting a tan. That thin plastic film is the difference between your CPU living its best life and contemplating silicon retirement. Next time, peel before you seal, darling!

Remember when game devs were literal coding demigods who could squeeze a full RollerCoaster Tycoon into Assembly language and fit shooters into kilobytes? Now we've got bearded dudes stealing breast milk while shipping 500GB games that still need a "day one patch" bigger than entire operating systems from the 90s. Modern AAA game development has truly evolved from "how can we optimize this to run on a potato?" to "just buy a new PC, peasant." And don't forget the always-online single player games because heaven forbid you enjoy content you paid for without a constant internet connection. The industry went from "first few levels free as shareware" to "that'll be $70 plus $20 for the season pass, $15 for the cosmetic DLC, and $10 for the soundtrack we removed from the base game."