Well You Know

When GitHub hit its billionth repository milestone, they decided to celebrate by... *checks notes*... congratulating someone who created a repo literally named "shit". Talk about anticlimactic! It's like planning a fancy dinner party and the guest of honor shows up in pajamas. This is the programming equivalent of the billionth customer at a supermarket getting confetti and balloons while buying nothing but toilet paper. The contrast between the formal congratulatory message and the crude repo name is just *chef's kiss* perfect comedy. And GitHub's hopeful message about "building something great" just adds that extra layer of unintentional irony. Billions of repositories later and we've peaked at... this. Beautiful.

The first comment: "When I do git blame, it's not about finding the person who did the mistake. I want to find out when the code was added, which task it was related to, and if I need more details, the person who wrote the code." The reply: "I use git blame just to make sure it wasn't me before I go on a tirade..." Ah yes, the two types of developers. The professional who uses tools for their intended purpose, and the rest of us who just want plausible deniability before ranting in Slack. Nothing quite like that moment of relief when you discover someone else wrote that abomination, followed by the crushing realization it was actually you from three years ago.

The ultimate power move in software development: merging code directly to production on your last day. Nothing says "peace out" like bypassing all those pesky tests and code reviews when the consequences are officially Someone Else's Problem™. It's the digital equivalent of setting a dumpster fire and walking away in slow motion while putting on sunglasses. The best part? That serene smile knowing you'll be unreachable when the Slack notifications start exploding tomorrow.

The programmer's secret calendar language! Those green squares in the GitHub contributions graph spell out "HOLIDAYS" when viewed by date. Non-technical managers just see random days off, but fellow devs recognize the sacred art of commit-graph-art. Taking PTO to complete your contribution masterpiece is peak developer dedication. The perfect crime—your manager thinks you're on vacation while you're actually cementing your legacy in version control history.

Finally, a Git tutorial that makes sense! The landing plane is git commit - safely touching down with your changes. The takeoff is git push - launching your code into the remote repo with a prayer it doesn't crash. And git add ? That's just people desperately climbing onto a sketchy ladder in the middle of nowhere - exactly how it feels tracking files before you've figured out what half of them even do. Ryanair's budget operations perfectly capture the bare-minimum approach most of us take with version control. "Yeah, I'll just commit directly to main. What could possibly go wrong?"

Ah, the classic "I'll just wing it without version control" tragedy. Four months of work obliterated by a cursor mishap because someone thought Git was just a British insult. This poor soul is basically asking "how do I lock the barn door?" after the horse has not only escaped but taken the entire barn with it. The irony of asking about backups after losing everything is the silent scream every tech lead hears in their nightmares. Pro tip: If your "backup strategy" is crossing your fingers and whispering "please don't break" to your computer, you might want to reconsider your life choices. Or at least install Git.