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Behold the future of coding: a three-button keyboard that distills programming to its purest form—Copy, Paste, and a logo that's probably GitHub or StackOverflow. The hardware manufacturers finally figured out what we actually do all day! Why write original code when someone on the internet already solved your problem? The "expert" part is knowing exactly which code to steal and how to make it look like you understood it in your commit messages. Future job interviews: "How efficiently can you Google?"

Oh, the BETRAYAL! There I was, battling code demons for HOURS, sweating through trial and error like I'm diffusing a nuclear bomb, only to finally surrender and open the README—which OBVIOUSLY contained the solution in the first paragraph all along! The sheer AUDACITY of documentation to be useful AFTER I've sacrificed my sanity! Next time I'll just dramatically stare at the README first with the same dead-inside expression instead of pretending I'm too good for instructions. My kingdom for reading documentation BEFORE writing 47 Stack Overflow questions!

Oh nooo! The ghost keeps saying "Boo" but the stick figure isn't scared... until they reveal their true horror - using zip files for version control! 😱 You know you've reached peak coding chaos when your version control system is just a folder of proj_1.zip , proj_2.zip , and the dreaded proj_last.zip ! The ghost couldn't scare them, but their file management made every developer scream in terror! Git commit or get haunted by your own file system!

The modern developer's ark is a bizarre menagerie of code Frankenstein'd together from various sources. Up top, we've got the majestic AI tools (Claude, Gemini, ChatGPT) and the trusty GitHub repos we "borrow" from, plus those YouTube tutorials we frantically search at 2PM when nothing works. But when the client shows up? Suddenly we're presenting some unholy chimera of code that barely functions but somehow ships. The client's reaction is universal: "What the hell is this?" while we stand there pretending this abomination was our plan all along. The greatest skill in modern development isn't writing code—it's explaining why your code looks like it was written by five different people with conflicting goals... because it was.

The eternal developer struggle: spending hours hunting through ancient GitHub repos for a solution while completely ignoring the obvious fix that's been staring you in the face the whole time. Nothing quite matches that special feeling when you realize you've wasted half a day digging through code written by someone who probably graduated before you were born, only to discover the solution was in the documentation you refused to read. The best part? You'll absolutely do it again next week.

That moment when a junior dev proudly announces they've "cleaned up" the codebase by removing "unused" functions, and suddenly the entire production environment collapses like a tree cut from its support. The code wasn't commented because the senior who wrote it was too busy putting out other fires to document why that "useless" function was actually holding up the entire architecture. Five minutes before the demo, everyone's frantically digging through Git history trying to figure out what the hell that Pink Panther function actually did.