Be Like Terry

That awkward moment when you go "Invisible" on Discord to avoid helping your friends debug their spaghetti code, but they still somehow sense your digital presence like some kind of coding Jedi. Going invisible is basically the digital equivalent of hiding in your closet while pretending not to be home when someone knocks. "You have no idea where I am" – yeah right, buddy. Your IDE is literally pushing commits to GitHub as we speak.

Intelligence and programming knowledge are two entirely different beasts. Nothing quite says "senior developer" like Googling basic Git commands for the 500th time while your partner questions their life choices. The rubber duck is probably the smartest entity in this relationship. Fun fact: The average developer spends approximately 30% of their career pretending they understand what a pipe does. The other 70% is spent explaining to non-technical people that no, they can't hack Facebook.

Ah, the classic code review escalation pattern. First, a technical question about WSL2. Then a polite explanation. Then suddenly the boss goes full nuclear: "I'm the head of engineering and could fire you" followed by "you'll be terminated and lose your 50K." Nothing says "healthy workplace culture" like threatening someone's career over a Windows Subsystem for Linux test. The corporate equivalent of bringing a flamethrower to a paper airplane fight.

OMG, the absolute CHAOS of development teams in their natural habitat! 💀 First we have someone proudly announcing "the energy I bring to the team" followed by their comment "i'm merging it. f*ck the tests" - the battle cry of every developer with a deadline breathing down their neck! Then the cherry on top: "writing testcases for your code is doubting your own coding abilities. it's a sign of weakness." EXCUSE ME?! That's like saying using a parachute when skydiving shows a lack of confidence in gravity! The sheer AUDACITY of these developers thinking their code is immaculate conception that needs no verification! Future bugs are literally SCREAMING in excitement waiting to be deployed to production!

Whoever told Google that software development is "low-stress" clearly never had to fix a production bug at 2 AM while the CEO breathes down their neck. Next thing you'll tell me is that JavaScript frameworks don't change every 12 minutes and git merge conflicts resolve themselves! The irony is so rich it could pay off my student loans from that CS degree that promised me a "balanced lifestyle."

When you accidentally push to production instead of staging... 😬 Someone's first day on the job just became their last! Nothing says "I'm fired" quite like leaking government AI plans on GitHub because you confused your repositories. Pro tip: Maybe don't store national secrets with the same tool you use for your personal "learning-to-code" projects. That resume is about to have an interesting gap year.