The Indie Dev Visibility Paradox

OH. MY. GOD. Someone actually wrote a function to check if a number is even by hard-coding EVERY. SINGLE. CASE. 💀 The sheer AUDACITY of creating an "IsEven" function that could be solved with a simple "return number % 2 == 0" but instead choosing violence and writing 500 if-statements! The poor soul reviewing this code is having an existential crisis right there on stream! This is the kind of "optimization" that gets you both fired AND hired at Blizzard in the same day. Pure chaotic evil genius!

That crushing moment when your progress bar hits 30% after you've already sacrificed three weekends and fifteen cups of coffee. The exact same feeling applies to large-scale software projects—you think you've conquered the mountain until Git informs you there are 47 more branches to merge. Enterprise Java projects are basically designed to make grown developers cry like this child. The real tragedy? That remaining 70% is where all the undocumented legacy code and unexpected requirements live.

The ABSOLUTE TRAGEDY of PC gamers waiting for that sweet, sweet 99% discount! These poor souls literally CANNOT DRAG THEMSELVES out of bed when their precious indie game is only 30% off. The HORROR! The INJUSTICE! Why even bother living in a world where you have to pay $3.50 instead of 5 cents for a game someone spent years creating? Might as well stay in bed and dramatically pull the covers over your head until Steam decides to practically give games away for free. The audacity of developers wanting to be paid for their work! *faints dramatically*

Ah, the eternal graveyard of half-finished projects. That last panel perfectly captures the existential rage when someone suggests you actually complete something instead of starting yet another shiny new endeavor. The audacity of suggesting we confront our digital skeletons! Making a game or learning SQL? Those are just future abandoned projects waiting to happen. But finishing what we started? That's the real horror story. The developer's GitHub is basically a cemetery of repositories last updated 3 years ago with commit messages like "initial commit" and "will finish tomorrow."

Ah, the irony of modern gaming. Your 3.30 GHz CPU is too powerful for a game that once ran on machines that couldn't even stream a cat GIF. Imagine having to sabotage your own hardware because some developer didn't account for the fact that computers have evolved since 1993. It's like buying a Ferrari and then removing the engine because the parking space is designed for a tricycle. The cherry on top is that 74.80 GB requirement - original DOOM fit on a few floppy disks, but now we need half a hard drive just to render the same demons in slightly higher resolution. Progress!

The eternal struggle of indie game devs on Reddit: First panel, they post "SUPPORT INDIE DEVELOPERS" with noble intentions. Second panel, they follow up with "MY GAME IS WISHLIST IF IT APPEALS TO YOU!" - a perfectly reasonable request. Third and fourth panels? The same person who was just preaching about supporting indies is now glaring with the fury of a thousand compiler errors. The cognitive dissonance of wanting indie games to succeed... unless they're being promoted in their Reddit feed. It's like saying "I love open source" but then blocking all GitHub notification emails.