Don't Piss Off Your Texture Artist

Oh. My. God. That feeling when your code is the final boss and you're just a sleep-deprived dev with the reflexes of a sedated sloth! 😭 The absolute TRAGEDY of watching your program obliterate your dignity after you've missed every single opportunity to catch that exception. Five parries?! FIVE?! Your debugging skills have officially left the chat, and now you're just sitting there, accepting your fate with the thousand-yard stare of someone who's forgotten what sunlight looks like. The worst part? You'll do it all again tomorrow because apparently, we're all gluttons for punishment in this profession!

Meta spent $13 billion on their "Horizon" metaverse and all they got was avatars that look like they were rendered on a potato. "Legs are coming soon!" is the kind of feature announcement you'd expect from a game in 2003, not something that cost twice Electronic Arts' annual revenue. At this rate, Mark's going to need another $50 billion just to add eyebrows that don't look haunted. Meanwhile, The Sims 3 from 2009 is over here with fully functioning humans that can already woohoo in hot tubs.

Ah, the eternal struggle of PC gamers waiting for the perfect discount. If it's not at least 90% off, might as well be full price. We'll just stay in bed, refreshing Steam every 8 minutes, waiting for that sweet indie game to hit rock-bottom pricing. Because paying $3.50 instead of $0.50 for a game we'll play for 200 hours is clearly financial irresponsibility.

The eternal dev cycle of adulthood: First, you fantasize about building that ultimate gaming rig with liquid cooling and RGB everything. Then you meticulously install 17 different launchers (Steam, Epic, GOG, Origin, Ubisoft Connect...) because each one has that one exclusive you absolutely need. Next, you frantically buy games during every sale because "80% off is basically free money." Finally, the crushing reality hits - you spend your precious free time scrolling through your 300+ game library for 45 minutes before giving up and watching YouTube videos about games instead.

Ah yes, the illusion of choice in our digital libraries. Spending half an hour scrolling through a Steam collection that would take three lifetimes to complete, only to launch Counter-Strike for the 5,783rd time. It's like having a fridge full of groceries and still ordering takeout. The McDonald's clown face-plant perfectly captures that moment of self-awareness when you realize you've wasted time browsing games you'll never play instead of just admitting you wanted to play the same comfort game all along. Peak decision paralysis with a side of self-deception.

The evolution of graphics "cards" is the tech equivalent of your friend who said they'd "just have one beer" and ended up ordering the entire menu. Started with that cute little PCI card that could barely render Minesweeper, moved to something resembling an actual card, then suddenly we're installing mini-refrigerators that require their own power supply and structural support. Next GPU generation will come with its own mortgage and custody agreement. Remember when upgrading your PC didn't require reinforcing your desk first?