I Hope He Was Fired

Content This is a motherfucking website. And it's fucking pertect. Seriously, what the fuck else do you want? You probably build websit nome page is going to get you some tuCKing Awwward banner vou ca in glue to the top corner of your site. You think your 40-pound Query file and 83 polyfills give IE7 a bones Shit's lightweight and loads fast Fits on all vour shitty screens ooke the came in all vour shitty browsers The mothernicker's accessible to every asshole that visits vour site Shit's legible and gets vour tucking De ss it vou had one instead of must )mo Dics of minsters drinkmo cottee You. Are. Over-designing. Look at this shit. It's a motherfucking website. Why the fuck do you need to animate a fucking trendy-ass banner flag when I hover over that useless piece of shit? You spent hours on it and added 80 kilobvtes to vour fucking site. and some mothertucker jabbing at sep that chit but they don't see any You never knew it but this is vour perfect website Here It's fucking lightweight This entire page weighs less than the gradient-meshed facebook logo on your fucking Wordpress site. Did you seriously load 100kb of Query UI iust so vou could animate the fucking backeround color of a div? You loaded all 7 fontfaces of a shitty webfont iust so vou could say "Hi" at 100px height at the beginning of vour site! It's responsive You dumbose You thought von needed media queries to be reeponeive buteo Responsive meane the it sec to screensize it's viewed on This site doesn't care if vou're on an iMac or a motherfucking Tamagotchi It fucking works Look at this shit You can read ; Courses I'm Currently Teaching (1995) so vou and vour bitch-ass brows It has content on the fucking ser Fall 1995 me clel- come bebling button t ILS tags nd make CS101: How to literally use for-loops CSS89: You will seriously get rekt by this course dont take it Last edited: Sep. 29. 2016 Contact Information Phone: (333) 425-5253 Fax: (333) 888 - 3424 Email: iohn(at)universitv(dot)edu Office: Generic Hall. 415 M. N. Shamalavan Publications M. N. Shamalayan. "Combining Neural Networks With Natural Language Processine to Optimize the Hitler Problem." (ICSE-1998). M. N. Shamalayan. "Using Unguided Prim Trees to Solve the Matrix Mul- tiplication Problem" (ICSE-2000) M. N. Shamalavan. Using Large Dataset Combined with Support Vector Machine to Solve the Ice-Cream Optimization Problem. (ICSE-2002)

The pool senpai has dropped the most cursed wisdom known to the dev world. Game development being "just more dynamic frontend engineering" is like saying brain surgery is just advanced haircutting because you work on the head. Sure, both involve rendering pixels on screens, but one's dealing with React state management while the other's optimizing physics engines, managing memory like their life depends on it, and crying over shader compilation errors at 3 AM. Frontend devs push buttons and make divs look pretty. Game devs push polygons and make GPUs scream. Totally the same thing, right? The sheer audacity of this statement is what makes it beautiful. It's technically wrong in every way that matters, yet somehow you can see the twisted logic if you squint hard enough.

Content What my friend (a mechanical engineer) means when he says "my project": A steel plant spread across 77 square km What I (a software engineer) mean when I say "my project": A website

Content Front-end Back-end Week-end

Ah, the classic "I've created a security nightmare but should I mention it?" dilemma. This developer is basically building a financial exploit disguised as a checkout system. By skipping backend price validation, they've created the digital equivalent of a self-checkout where customers can type in whatever price they want. "That Ferrari? Oh, it's $4.99 today." Hackers aren't even needed when the developers themselves are creating the vulnerabilities. The real question isn't "Should I tell them?" but rather "How fast can I update my resume before someone notices?"

Ah yes, the classic "structure without function" approach. This mint-green building is basically what happens when you try to build a web app with just HTML – it exists, it has a structure, but don't expect it to actually do anything. It's like showing up to a gunfight with a particularly nice cardboard cutout of a gun. Sure, it looks like a building/website from a distance, but try clicking any button and you'll just hear the hollow echo of static content. The modern web equivalent of a painted facade in an old Western movie set.