Deploying To Production Before Holiday Break: What Could Go Wrong

Everyone's talking about "serverless" like it's magic, but nobody can explain what's actually happening under the hood. Meanwhile, your AWS bill is skyrocketing faster than crypto in 2017. The best part? Those same DevOps wizards who convinced you to go serverless are probably just as confused as you are, but they're too busy setting up Kubernetes clusters they don't need to admit it. Remember: "serverless" doesn't mean there are no servers—it just means you're paying someone else a fortune to hide them from you.

Docker gets real smug when someone says "works on my machine" because that's literally its entire pitch deck. The containerization messiah swoops in to save the day from environment inconsistencies, only to get absolutely humiliated when it realizes it also just "works on my machine." Turns out Docker didn't solve the problem—it just became the problem with extra steps and a YAML file. Now you've got Docker working perfectly on your laptop while your teammate's setup implodes because their WSL2 decided to have an existential crisis, or someone's running an M1 Mac and suddenly every image needs a different architecture. The irony is chef's kiss level: the tool designed to eliminate "works on my machine" syndrome becomes patient zero.

Corporate amnesia at its finest! The business side freaks out about "unwanted modifications" despite literally requesting them with a ticket number to prove it. Nothing quite like the special feeling when management forgets they asked for something, then acts shocked when you deliver exactly what they wanted. The blank stare in the last panel is the universal developer experience of "I have the receipts but somehow I'm still wrong."

Ah yes, the presidential decree of bad programming practices. Nothing says "Make Software Great Again" like starting arrays at 1 (a crime in most programming languages), using only global variables (the radioactive waste of code), and deploying untested code straight to production on a Friday (the ultimate "I hate my weekend" power move). It's basically an executive order to create job security through chaos. Ten years of debugging later, you'll still be finding remnants of this administration in your codebase.

That fleeting moment of glory when your code doesn't immediately set the servers on fire. You're strutting around like a superhero while your Slack blows up with messages. Just wait until they find that one edge case you didn't test for. Enjoy the dopamine while it lasts, friend.

The stick figure is all of us who've learned this lesson the hard way. Push to production on Friday, and suddenly your weekend becomes an unpaid extension of your work week. Nothing says "I hate my personal life" quite like deploying that "tiny fix" at 4:55 PM on Friday, then spending Saturday debugging while your friends are having fun without you. The universal developer commandment: thou shalt not tempt the deployment gods when happy hour beckons.