Deploy First, Pray Later

The classic "it works on my machine" defense gets brutally dismantled by the PM's logic. Sure, your dev environment with its perfectly configured IDE, custom environment variables, and that one obscure dependency you installed six months ago works flawlessly. But the PM's got a point—shipping your entire workstation to production isn't exactly in the budget. The developer's smug confidence crumbles faster than a Node.js app without error handling. Now they actually have to document their setup, figure out why it breaks everywhere else, and maybe—just maybe—learn what Docker is for. The PM sitting there like a boss knowing they just won the argument is chef's kiss. Fun fact: This exact conversation is why containerization became a thing. Turns out "works on my machine" became such a meme that the entire industry built tools to make your machine everyone's machine.

Oh. My. GOD. The three stages of Git desperation captured in their natural habitat! 😱 On the left, we have the blissfully ignorant newbie who thinks git clone is the height of sophistication. HONEY, JUST WAIT. In the middle? That's you after discovering the UNHOLY TRINITY of git commands - cherry-pick , bisect , and rebase . The tears! The grinding teeth! The DRAMA of it all! And finally, the dark side. When you've stared into the abyss so long you've become one with it. rm -rf repo is no longer a tragedy - it's SWEET RELEASE. The bell curve doesn't lie, darling. We all end up in the same Git hell eventually. Resistance is FUTILE!

Server racks don't respond to prayers, but that doesn't stop us from trying. Nothing says "confidence in your code" like a group of half-naked IT folks performing the ancient ritual of "Please Don't Crash During My Vacation." The physical manifestation of the phrase "it worked on my machine" right before everyone disappears for four days. Pro tip: servers can smell fear and holiday plans.

The year is 2025. Microsoft has fully absorbed GitHub, and the dystopian nightmare begins. GitHub users cower in fear as Microsoft whispers "Come closer..." only to drop the bombshell: "I NEED YOU TO ADD IPV6 SUPPORT TO GITHUB." It's the ultimate plot twist! After all the fears of Microsoft injecting telemetry, ads, or subscription tiers into GitHub, they're just desperately trying to drag their acquisition into modern networking standards. Still running on legacy IPv4 in 2025? That's the real horror story! The internet ran out of IPv4 addresses years ago, but GitHub's still clinging to them like SpongeBob to his spatula.

The joke here is that the pie chart shows the "Benefits of working in IT in 2025" with a legend listing Salary, Wellness, Stable mental health, and Confidence for your future... but none of the colors in the legend actually appear in the chart. Classic bait-and-switch that hits too close to home. Seven years in the industry and I've seen enough "wellness programs" that consist of a single yoga session and free pizza to know this isn't far from reality. The chart is basically saying "here are all the benefits you were promised" while showing completely different data—just like how your job description never matches what you actually do. Pro tip: The real benefits of IT are unlimited coffee and the ability to blame everything on "network issues."

The thousand-yard stare of a developer who's survived multiple production outages is worth more than any certification. Nothing teaches you how to handle chaos like watching your carefully crafted code implode spectacularly at 3 AM while executives breathe down your neck. The battle scars of debugging nightmares are basically an unwritten qualification on every senior dev job posting.