What Are The Odds?

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You know that developer who swears their code is "self-documenting" because they used variable names like x , data2 , and doStuff() ? Yeah, reading their code is basically archaeology. You're standing there like Indiana Jones trying to decipher ancient hieroglyphics, except instead of unlocking the secrets of a lost civilization, you're just trying to figure out why they nested seven ternary operators inside a forEach loop. "Self-documenting" is code for "I was too lazy to write comments and now you're going to suffer." Spoiler alert: your clever one-liner that saves three lines of code isn't clever when it takes 30 minutes to understand. Write the damn comments.

The classic "monkey puppet" meme perfectly captures the thousand-yard stare of veteran programmers when someone claims "you don't need to be a programmer to write software." That statement might sound innocent to the uninitiated, but anyone who survived Visual Basic, FrontPage, and Dreamweaver in the 90s knows the horror that follows. Sure, drag-and-drop interfaces made software "accessible" – right until you had to debug the absolute nightmare of auto-generated code that looked like it was written by a caffeinated toddler with a keyboard. The right panel showing ancient UI builder software is giving me flashbacks I didn't consent to.

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Finally, a bug that's actually visible to the naked eye! This little critter decided to make itself at home right in the middle of someone's code. Talk about literal debugging. The irony of an actual insect crawling across curly braces and semicolons is just *chef's kiss*. Somewhere, a QA engineer is filling out a bug report that reads "Found bug on line 31. No, seriously, it has six legs and everything."

Content Chris Albon chrisalbon Software engineering pro-tip: Follow Do not, I repeat, do not deploy this week. That is how you end up debugging a critical issue from your parent's wifi in your old bedroom while your spouse hates you for abandoning them with your racist uncle. 8:49 PM - 19 Dec 2017 11,775 Retweets 23,488 Likes 254 17 12K 23K ProdrammerHumor.io