This Bug Didn't Stump Me For Two Weeks I Swear

The classic programmer journey from self-righteousness to self-sabotage in three easy steps: First, you write a verbose, descriptive function name that perfectly documents what it does. You feel virtuous. Clean code! Self-documenting! Then, you realize typing that monstrosity repeatedly is killing your productivity. So you create a wrapper function with a shorter name. Problem solved! Finally, you're faced with your creation in production code: if (cumming()) - and suddenly you remember why code reviews exist. Your future maintainers will either die laughing or hunt you down with pitchforks. And this, friends, is why naming things remains one of the two hardest problems in computer science.

The gaming-to-debugging pipeline is real! This is exactly what happens when you hit that same exception for the third time. Your monitor becomes your new face as you merge with the code, determined to squash that bug that keeps killing your program. The transition from casual "I'll fix it later" to "I am become death, destroyer of bugs" happens so fast. That intense focus where you're basically wearing your monitor as a helmet is the universal sign that you've entered debug beast mode .

That awkward silence when someone assumes your years of experience translate to actual competence. Ten years of programming and still googling how to center a div or exit Vim. Some of us have just been making the same mistakes with increasing confidence for a decade. It's not the years in the code, it's the code in the years.

Content Hey you goin' to sleep? Yes, now shut up I think I figured out how to debug your program

Content TOP DEFINITION C y f 3 A programming language for Real Men. Most languages try to provide a simplified way to solve specific problems well. C makes no such concession and tries to be mediocre at everything. It lets you program at a very high level, and a very low level in the same program. It lets you write procedural code, object oriented code, generic code and mix them all up. It makes you decide everything and provides no help if you get it wrong. It is by far the biggest, most complicated, ugly, down-right dangerous language you can use. But it does run fast. It takes at least twice as long to program in C as any other major language (except C). The men who program in C are Real Men. The women who program in C are Real Men too. You can spot a C programmer from their testosterone fueled swagger, and the unbelievable amount of contempt they inject into the phrase Java "programmer". They'll probably do the air quotes and all. Dev: 'Hey, Reg, you know C right? What does: "Isrc Cont.spp(52) : error C2679: binary '': no operator found which takes a right- hand operand of type 'int' (or there is no acceptable conversion) C: Program Files Microsoft Visual Studio 8VC include vector (392): could be 'std: VectoriteratorTy, Alloc std:VectoriteratorTy, Alloc:operator (const std:VectoriteratorTy, Alloc' with TyMain::Cont, Allocstd allocatorMain::Cont while trying to match the argument list '(std::VectoriteratorTy, Alloc, int)' with TyMain::Cont, Allocstd :allocatorMain::Cont " mean?' Reg: 'You missed a semicolon at the end of the line'

Content STOP DOING COMPUTER SCIENCE Computers were supposed to solve math, NOT to be programmed C is a LETTER, not a language Wanna print() something? Write it in a PAPER with a PEN "I'm writing a recursive method with threads to optimize the CPU usage in a 0.02" THIS IS A NONSENSICAL STATEMENT MADE BY DERANGED PEOPLE Look at what PROGRAMMERS have been demanding your respect for, after all the led lights we put in their computers: (This is real COMPUTER SCIENCE, done by real COMPUTER SCIENTISTS): os.syal FUNNY GOLORED LETTERS 178 COMPILATION ERRORS????? A FAKE TEAPOT YOU CAN'T USE IF PROGRAMMING WAS REAL HOW COME NOBODY THOUGHT IN DOING while(true) print(money); THEY PLAYED US FOR ABSOLUTE FOOLS