The Great Debugging Escape

Content What my resume says a day after I got laid off What my resume says after 7 months of applying for jobs I DID MY DOB. WROTE CODE, FIXED DEFECTS. ETC. I WAS SINGLE HANDEDLY RESPONSIBLE FOR HUNDREDS OF NEW CLIENTS, RESULTING IN BILLIONS OF NET NEW REVENUE. I WROTE ALL OUR CODE AND FIXED ALL THE DEFECTS FROM PAST DEVELOPERS. I INVENTED SAAS.

Nothing says "Happy Holidays" quite like your production app deciding to throw a tantrum on Christmas Eve while you're three eggnogs deep. Your pager is screaming louder than carolers, and suddenly you're begging the entire dev team to please, FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY, acknowledge the emergency alert they've been conveniently ignoring while opening presents. Because apparently "on-call rotation" means "everyone pretends their phone died simultaneously." The absolute AUDACITY of code to break during the ONE time of year when nobody wants to touch a keyboard. Bonus points if it's a bug that's been lurking in production for months but chose THIS EXACT MOMENT to make its grand debut.

Ah, the classic uninitialized pointer bug. You spend 8 hours debugging, questioning your career choices, contemplating a life as a goat farmer, only to discover you forgot to write ptr = malloc(sizeof(int)) . Meanwhile, your program's been happily accessing random memory addresses like a drunk tourist navigating Tokyo subway. The wall behind the character is a perfect representation of your sanity after staring at memory dumps for half a day.

Content 5 Cal Users KnzAppData Local Programs Python Python37) new.py - Sublime Text File Edit Selection Find View Goto Tools Project Preferences Help Python notes.py knizjs new.py ese htm 1 import os def WindowsDiagnostics () 3 4 5 6 print ('Looking for problems") waitTimer (20000ms) print('Unable to fix the issue.')

OMG, the absolute HORROR of seeing a Python dev using print() statements instead of proper logging! 😱 It's like watching someone use a butter knife to fix an electrical outlet! Sure, importing that logging module takes a WHOLE EXTRA LINE of code and the UNBEARABLE AGONY of typing 'import logging' instead of just sprinkling print() statements everywhere like confetti at a debug party. But honey, when your production server is on fire at 2AM and you can't find which of your 500 print() statements is relevant, you'll be BEGGING for timestamp and log levels! The walk of shame depicted here is just *chef's kiss* PERFECTION.

Content S Slack Version 3.39, 80.2 MB 14 Mar 2018 OPEN What's New When you share something in Slack, we'll use the last channel you shared a file as the default destination as is logical. Or at least more logical. Sending messages in poor connection conditions Is now a little more rellable. Because neither snow nor rain nor heat nor dearth of signal should stand between you and us trying to send your message. Bug Fixes Fixed: A faulty link that prevented some owners and admins from managing their workspace. Fixed: Emoji reactions in threads were starting to crowd one another. The gaggle has dispersed and threads should look orderly once again. Gmail - Email by Google Version 5.0.180311, 139 MB 22 Mar 2018 OPEN You can now change your password, update your profile picture and more by visiting My Account in settings. Office Lens Version 2.11, 33.9 MB 19 Mar 2018 Bug fixes and performance improvements OPEN YouTube: Watch, Listen, Stream Version 13.08, 117 MB 5 Mar 2018 General fixes and stability improvements. OPEN Google Photos Version 3.15.0, 130 MB 2 Mar 2018 Performance improvements OPEN V LIVE - Broadcasting App Version 2.3.14, 61.3 MB 20 Mar 2018 OPEN - Bug fixes Messenger Version 157.0, 123 MB 14 Mar 2018 OPEN We update the app regularly so we can make it better for you. Get the latest version for all of the available features and improvements. Thanks for using Messenger! Proar