The Four Horsemen Of Debugging Excuses

That moment of pure existential dread when you're reviewing code, mentally roasting the author for their crimes against computer science, and then suddenly realize... wait... I wrote this garbage three months ago. Nothing humbles you faster than discovering your past self was the villain all along. It's like time-traveling just to punch yourself in the face.

The sweet, sweet embrace of relational databases after spending months in NoSQL hell. You swore MongoDB was the future, but now you're crawling back to PostgreSQL like a desperate ex. "Please take me back, I promise I'll normalize my tables this time." Nothing says "I've grown as a person" quite like appreciating foreign key constraints after trying to manually join documents across collections. The NoSQL hangover is real.

Nobody wants to write clean, efficient code when they can reinvent the wheel with a monstrosity that'll make future maintainers contemplate a career change. Why solve a problem with 5 lines when you can create a bespoke nightmare that requires its own documentation series? The best part is watching junior devs try to understand your "genius" six months later while you're conveniently on vacation.

Content 0f1 3 4G 7:05 PM 36 ... rShowerthoughts uZaptagious 9h SUBSCRIBE The fact that we can't fully control our own organs and bodily functions is like we don't have admin privileges of our own bodies Mindblowing 4 68.6k J 1.5k 1 Share Award BEST COMMENTS Nonexo 8h Would be constantly high on hormones or sth Reply 4 4.6k J eltrotter 6h Run dopamine.exe Run serotonin.exe 4 3.9k J pointlessarguments3 6h dopamine.exe has runtime error. Begin Parkinson's.exe 4 2.6k J SaltyEmotions 5h Add a comment

The elegant architecture you craft in your head vs the janky spaghetti code that actually makes it to production. Every developer swears they're Jack Sparrow when designing their solution, but when the deadline pressure hits, we all turn into the bootleg knockoff version. After 15 years in this industry, I've accepted that my mental models are just elaborate lies I tell myself before the reality of git commits sets in. The expectation vs reality gap in programming is wider than the ocean Captain Jack sails on.

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