The Five Stages Of Debugging Grief

That face when the junior dev confidently explains an AI-generated pull request that's 90% hallucinated features and 10% actual code. The smug little smile says it all: "I totally understand what's happening here" while internally panicking about what await Promise.resolve(undefined).then(() => Math.random() > 0.5 ? 'success' : throw new Error('oops')) is supposed to accomplish. The code review is scheduled for 3pm and Stack Overflow is already open in 17 tabs.

Remember when coding meant wrestling with assembly and reading manuals thicker than your college textbook? Those 70s programmers didn't have Stack Overflow to cry on—they had biceps from carrying documentation and nightmares about memory allocation. Fast forward to modern times where we're practically coddled by interpreters that say "Aww, you forgot a semicolon? No worries, I'll pretend I didn't see that." The hardest thing we do now is decide which framework to abandon next month. Every time I have to touch low-level code, I silently thank the buff psychopaths who came before us. They weren't programmers—they were digital blacksmiths forging code with their bare hands.

When someone assumes your 4 years of programming means you're an expert, but in reality you've just been googling Stack Overflow answers and praying your code works. *nervous cat noises* That awkward silence when you realize most of your "knowledge" is just knowing which error messages mean "you're totally screwed" versus "just restart your IDE." Four years in and still feeling like an imposter who accidentally fooled everyone into thinking you know what you're doing!

Ah, the classic "push notification to production" disaster. Some poor intern at Dairy Queen just learned the hard way that there's no such thing as a test environment, only production environments you haven't broken yet. The best part is the corporate damage control: "Good news, the test worked!" Yeah, and now millions of people know your DevOps practices are about as solid as a melting Blizzard on a hot summer day. That smiley face emoji is the digital equivalent of nervous laughter while the senior devs frantically search Stack Overflow for "how to recall push notifications."

When your boss says they hired a "technical expert" to fix your slow computer. Sure enough, here's the "RAM upgrade" in progress – a cat literally trying to get inside the PC case. Bet they're charging you $200/hour for this "specialized service." Next up: the cat will chase the mouse cursor and call it "pointer optimization."

Content Ash system.out memeln( ) guys literally only want one thing and it's fucking disgusting 2017-10-22, 1:56 AM All 22307 tests passed - 681 ms optjavajdk1.8.0121binjava Compiled with 0 errors and 0 warnings Process finished with exit code 0