Sneaky Bastard

The ENTIRE TRAGIC EXISTENCE of a programmer summed up in one image! 😭 We start as innocent babes, then BOOM—middle age hits and we're screaming "I DON'T KNOW WHY THIS CODE ISN'T WORKING!" while pulling our hair out. Then the ULTIMATE BETRAYAL happens! Just when we finally get our code working, we have absolutely NO IDEA why it's working! And then we DIE. That's it. That's the whole programmer lifecycle. No glory, no understanding—just confusion from cradle to grave! The yellow line of despair just keeps plummeting downward like our will to live during a production outage!

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Content I just fixed the damned error 9:25 pm Now 9:25 pm Fml 9:25 pm As in i fixed it now 9:26 pm I've been trying since 11 am 9:26 pm BRO LEGIT I DONT KNOW 9:26 pm now what 9:25 pm V 9:26 pm vi what was it 9:26 pm V

Ah, the seven deadly archetypes of every engineering team. I've worked with all of these people, and I've been all these people—sometimes in the same sprint. My personal favorite is "The Silent Operator" who hasn't spoken since the company holiday party of 2019 but somehow commits the exact fix at 2 AM while everyone else is arguing in Slack. And don't get me started on "The System Rebuilder." Sure, event sourcing sounds amazing in theory—right up until you're explaining to the CEO why the shopping cart needs six months of refactoring. The real unicorn is someone who's none of these. If you find them, lock the door and hide their passport.

Content Kat Maddox ctrIshifti Is it a coincidence? I don't think so. Stop testing your software Bugs found Time spent testing software 14:06 20 Sep 20 Twitter Web App 1,717 Retweets 141 Quote Tweets

When your entire debugging strategy consists of choosing between * (dereference pointer) and & (address-of operator) buttons while having absolutely no clue what you're doing. The cold sweat is just a bonus feature that comes with C programming—no extra charge! Nothing says "I'm in control" like frantically toggling memory operators until your code magically compiles or your computer bursts into flames.