One Regex To Rule Them All

Sweet innocent programmers writing "Hello World" in C vs the ABSOLUTE NIGHTMARE HELLSCAPE that is Malbolge! For the uninitiated, Malbolge is basically what Satan would create if he decided to design a programming language. It's SO deliberately obscure and difficult that it took TWO YEARS for someone to write a working "Hello World" program after its creation! The face in the meme perfectly captures that moment when you go from "I know how to code" to "WHAT DEMONIC TORTURE IS THIS?!" Writing anything in Malbolge is like trying to solve a Rubik's cube while blindfolded, underwater, and being chased by sharks. With your hands tied behind your back. While on fire. 🔥

Content README a MIT license The Fuck Version v3.32 Tests passing coverage 94 license MIT The Fuck is a magnificent app, inspired by a liamosaur tweet, that corrects errors in previous console commands. Is The Fuck too slow? Try the experimental instant mode! eval (thefuck (fc -In -1 tail -n 1)); fc -R 76x18 - thefuck git:(master) X aptget install vim No command 'aptget' found, did you mean: Command 'apt-get' from package 'apt' (main) ash: command not found: aptget - thefuck git: (master) X fuck apt-get install vim enterctric E: Could not open lock file varlibdpkglock - open (13: Permission denied ) E: Unable to lock the administration directory (varlibdpkg), are you roo - thefuck git: (master) X fuck sudo apt-get install vim enter ctrlc sudo password for nvbn: Reading package lists... 0

When your password requirements include "must contain at least one character floating in the void of space." Who needs fancy password generators when you can just smash your keyboard while having an existential crisis? This is basically what happens when security experts say "make it random" and developers take it literally . Good luck remembering which cosmic 'X' you clicked on during account creation. Password hint: "It's that one letter... you know... somewhere in the universe."

THE AUDACITY! This code is checking if a user is NOT null, then returning the user... but if the user IS null, it returns null?! WHAT IS EVEN THE POINT?! 💀 It's like putting on a raincoat during a thunderstorm then immediately jumping into a swimming pool. The entire if-statement is so gloriously redundant it deserves its own monument in the Hall of Fame of Unnecessary Code. This is what happens when you're paid by the line instead of functionality. Chef's kiss of inefficiency! Just write return user and call it a day, PLEASE!

Finally, a project status report that doesn't sugarcoat reality! This is what happens when your PM asks for "complete transparency" and you take it personally. From the 23.64 GB codebase (because who needs optimization?) to the "mix of tabs and spaces" (the mark of a true chaotic evil), this is every tech lead's nightmare made manifest. My favorite part? The test status: "Segmentation fault (core dumped)" paired with "passing if you try a second time" — which is basically every developer saying "it works on my machine" with extra steps. And let's not ignore the "coffee drunk: 694 L" metric — the only truly accurate measurement in the entire report.

Content I'll add a TODO: here So that you can fix it later, right? So that you can fix it later, right?