No Memory Leaks: A Programmer's True Love Story

The innocent words "just gonna do a quick little refactor" have claimed another victim. What starts as a simple code cleanup inevitably spirals into a time-warping vortex where you're suddenly fixing "one more thing" until the office is dark and your Slack status has been "away" for 6 hours. The worst part? You'll do it again next week. Some developers say sleep is just an inefficient way to code anyway.

Ah, the chaotic symphony of pair programming! Your brain is busy boiling eggs in one corner, your hands are frantically setting a different burner on fire, and your dignity is just a sad yolk slowly cooking on yet another burner. Meanwhile, your audience is watching this culinary disaster unfold in real-time, silently judging your "expertise." It's that magical moment when you suddenly forget how to write a for-loop and start questioning if semicolons were ever real. The cognitive equivalent of trying to cook a five-course meal while someone watches you struggle to boil water.

Content DevOps Dan scripticles 3s IF everything I am hearing about Twitter is true and IF Twitter engineers are leaving en masse, then every developer out there should be praying that Twitter crashes within days ( 13 ) 1 17 DevOps Dan scripticles 1s If there is no significant system interruption at Twitter after their staff gets Thanos'd, it will spell bad news for every other engineering department across the globe because the executive are paying attention to what is happening here. (23) 17 DevOps Dan scripticles 1s If Twitter can survive with a fraction of their workforce, so can we, every other software company CEO will start to think. And the grasshoppers will start firing the ants. (33) 17

Content My Documents 3 Outlook Express Internet Explorer Connect to the AWT Initialization Error Internet X Sorry, but this release of Java requires at least 16 colors XXXXxx Network Windows Neighbolhood Media Player Flecycle Bin

Content There's a thing called "Rubber duck debugging" in which a programmer explains the code to a rubber duck in hopes of finding the bug Ultrafacts.tumblr.com cosrnos: lifeofdavo: kierenwalkerpds: monobeartheater: absorr: ultrafacts: Source For more posts like this, CLICK HERE to follow Ultrafacts Some of you are reblogging because you think its funny that programmers would talk to ducks. I'm reblogging because I think its funny picturing a programmer explaining their code, realizing what they did when they explain the bad code, then grabbing the strangling the duck while yelling "WHY WAS THE FIX THAT SIMPLE!? AM I GOING BLIND!" AS A PROGRAMMER I CAN TELL YOU THAT THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT YOU FUCKING DO WE HAD TO BAN THE DUCKS FROM MY CLASSES BECAUSE EVERYONE WOULD FLIP THE DUCK OR THROW IT AT A WALL OR SOMETHING WHEN THEY FIGURED OUT THE PROBLEM IN THEIR CODE so that's the function of a rubber duck I work at a startup and part of the onboarding package you get when you Tirst start working here now includes a rubber duck. We also have a bigger version of the duck for the extra hard problems. Sometimes one duck doesn't cut it and you need to borrow your neighbors to get more ducks on the problem. One time we couldn't figure out why something wasn't working right so we assembled the counsel of ducks and by the grace of the Duck Gods were we able to finally come to a solution. These ducks have saved many lives and should be respected for the heroes they are Source: ultrafacts 254.607 notes

Whoever designed this playground equipment clearly graduated from the same school as developers who write while True: with no exit condition. Just picture a bunch of exhausted kids pedaling in circles for eternity because nobody thought to add a break statement. The CPU of childhood joy running at 100% until snack time interrupts the process.