No Matter The Time

Content SOFTWARE ENGINEER CHEAT SHEET Source:TheCooperReview.com It's a non-trivial amount of work I won't be able to copy and paste This is a temporary This is a permanent solution solution lIl be finished by Monday That's funny Do you want it done fast or do you want it done right? Just file a bug I won't tell you which Monday I literally hate you It will be neither I have no idea what you're saying right now That's an expansion forgot you needed that feature of scope We can't test that We can but we won't I'll just put it behind a flag for now It will never ship I can't realistically estimate that - I don't know how estimates work I don't think users will care about that have dinner reservations at 8 This is an Alpha release It doesn't work This is a Beta release We fixed a lot of bugs but it still doesn't work I'll add that to the I'm hoping you'll forget about it backlog We are focusing on - I'm going to go take a nap high priority fixes only

Content SABOTAGE: Student adds bugs to the code on purpose! Intern Gets Job at ByteDance, Sabotages Neural Network Development Project for Two Months Programmer Keyu Tian got an internship at the Chinese company ByteDance and spent two months sabotaging a neural network development project by deliberately introducing errors into the code. Because of his actions, a team of thirty developers spent 247 searching for and fixing bugs that appeared in the project. The investigation revealed that Tian: Systematically uploaded Pickle files with malicious hidden code that contained viruses and other dangerous components. This code was executed automatically and randomly, so the team could not understand why their efforts did not lead to stabilization of the project Gained access to the PyTorch library on which the projects were based and made small changes to it daily, which led to program crashes. The developers did not check the source code, which is why tasks continued to fail with errors and bugs, and all experiments brought incorrect results Created chaos with checkpoints, files that save intermediate states of neural networks during their training. He changed model parameters, interfered with training data, or deleted checkpoints, which is why the team's work results disappeared and could not be restored Actively participated in work meetings, which allowed him to remain unnoticed. He attended every meeting to find out about the team's plans to fix bugs, and then created new ones. The team could not understand what was happening; Tian was exposed by logs. ByteDance reported that thirty developers worked for two months without results due to the destructive actions of one person, which led to the failure of the project deadlines and the loss of customer funds After Tian was fired from ByteDance, his mentors at university did not condemn or punish him. MIRATE

Content If you start compiling your code at 8:56 pm on New Years Eve, you'll be able to start resolving your compilation errors by the time the clock strikes midnight. Kick off 2018 the right way

Ah, the classic case of overengineering a solution for a problem that barely exists. Imagine using nanosecond precision for generating unique tokens in an app that only five people use, and STILL getting collisions. That's like bringing a nuclear warhead to kill a spider and somehow missing. For the uninitiated, a "nonce" is a number used just once in security protocols. Using nanoseconds (billionths of a second) should be massive overkill for uniqueness in a tiny app, yet somehow this dev defied probability itself. The cat's expression perfectly captures that moment of existential crisis when you realize the universe is conspiring against your code.

Content G closed miku-chan03 opened this issue on 18 Oct 2017 2 comments miku-chan03 commented on 18 Oct 2017 Contributor I fixie wixied the JSON-api fucksy wucksie!!! pp I repwaced the Prototypes. func wiff a more -streamylined- kawaii Pwototypiee. funkywunks object that make the JS go sooper dooper fast!! XD starts twerking Can u pwease merge my pwull wequest senpai?!! UwU gaearon commented on 19 Oct 2017 Contributor what in the name of fuck tO gaearon closed this permanently on 19 Oct 2017

The eternal developer struggle: spending four hours trying to force a flip-flop through a sock when you could've just spent five minutes reading the manual. The documentation is right there, beckoning with its sweet knowledge, but no—we'd rather perform sock contortionism while muttering "this should work" for the 47th time. And then have the audacity to complain that the library is "poorly designed" when our sock-sandal monstrosity inevitably fails. The real tragedy? We'll do it again tomorrow.