Brain Memes

The brain's perfect timing is truly diabolical. Refuses to function during your 8-hour workday, but the moment your head hits the pillow? BAM! Suddenly it's a debugging genius with perfect recall of line 255 where you misplaced a semicolon. The cognitive CPU that throttles to 5% during meetings somehow overclocks to 500% at 2AM. It's like your brain has a service-level agreement that explicitly excludes business hours.

The ultimate programmer betrayal—your brain waits until you're horizontal to unleash its genius. Eight hours of staring at the screen? Nothing. The second your head hits the pillow? BAM! Your subconscious pulls the solution from some neural filing cabinet it's been hiding all day. That smug little brain even has the audacity to mock you for not seeing the obvious fix sooner. Meanwhile you're lying there at 3 AM contemplating whether to get up and code or pray you'll remember it tomorrow. Ten years in the industry and I'm still having midnight standups with my cerebrum. The real sprint planning happens between REM cycles.

The human brain: allocating 23% CPU and 2.4GB of RAM to thinking about sex, 8% to lunch plans, and a measly 2.4% to actually finding that seg fault. Meanwhile, writing documentation and unit tests are running in the background with 0% CPU utilization. Priorities perfectly aligned for maximum debugging inefficiency. The real kicker? Those embarrassing memories from 2007 somehow consuming 1.2GB of memory that could've been used to solve the actual problem. But hey, at least "Incoming Bowel Movement" is only using 0.1% CPU - small victories.