It Was Only Two Lines

Content AND REMEMBER: LAWFUL GOOD OK. START THE REIEASI LAWFUL NEUTRAL DON'T MAKE AN THE CLIENT'S LEAVEIT AS IT IS WE WILL CHARGE I AS A FEATURI LAWFUL EVIL I REPLACED THIS SAY WE MAKE NEUTRAL GOOD CHAOTIC GOOD ALL COLORS ARE DECLARED LIKE TEEM, ENES CANBE ANOw, we USeD THE WE'LL NEED 3 DAYS BUTH THE CLIENTT TRUE NEUTRAL CHAOTIC NEUTRAL ...ND THEY TOLD ME WE DECIDED TO STORE THEIR PASSWORDS FIND THE PROBLEN NEUTRAL EVIL CHAOTIC EVIL

The eternal paradox of "high quality" code that nobody else can decipher. When your documentation is non-existent, your variable names are single letters, and your functions are 500 lines long—but hey, at least you understand the labyrinth you've created. The ultimate job security strategy: write code so convoluted that firing you would be corporate suicide. Maintainability? That's just a fancy word for "letting other people mess with my masterpiece."

The classic software development saga in three acts: Act 1: "We found a bug! Here's a bizarre workaround that makes no logical sense." Act 2: "After thorough investigation, we've confirmed the bizarre workaround actually works. Please use it." Act 3: "After further investigation, we've determined our workaround does absolutely nothing. We have no idea what's happening." Every developer who's ever shipped code is nodding right now. The correlation-causation fallacy is basically a required skill on résumés at this point.

Content the most efficient way to get rid of all the bugs was to get rid of all the software,

When NASA engineers reject SpaceX but embrace TabX, you know they've finally discovered the true rocket science of code indentation. Sure, launching humans to Mars is impressive, but have you ever seen a perfectly aligned codebase? That's the real moonshot. Developers will literally fight interstellar wars over spaces vs. tabs while their code is still riddled with nested if-statements that look like the aftermath of a keyboard explosion.

When your code finally runs after 48 hours of debugging, but you've lost all will to live in the process. That "Myself" button is looking mighty tempting after staring at a missing semicolon for two days straight. The irony of requesting your own death certificate online is the perfect metaphor for what happens when you deploy to production on a Friday afternoon. At least the UI is straightforward—unlike that legacy codebase you inherited.