Is She Imaginary

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That moment when your colleague deploys code to production that actually works the first time. The rest of us, still running alpha builds with 47 known bugs, stare in disbelief like we've witnessed a unicorn. Stable release devs are basically mythical creatures in the wild—they commit working code, document it, AND write tests. Meanwhile, I'm over here trying to convince everyone my "it works on my machine" badge is still valid.

The existential crisis of every imposter syndrome-riddled developer! This dev knows their code is held together by StackOverflow answers and prayer, so if an aviation company thinks they're qualified enough to hire, that's a terrifying red flag about who's building flight systems. The ultimate paradox: succeeding at the interview would confirm their worst fear—that the bar is low enough that even they could pass. And suddenly every turbulence bump becomes "oh god, did I write that part?"

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Nothing breaks the sound barrier quite like a developer's fingers after accidentally deleting three hours of work. Cheetahs run at 70 mph, planes fly at 550 mph, light travels at 186,000 miles per second... but the Ctrl+Z reflex after a code deletion mistake? That's practically teleportation. Physics professors are still trying to measure it. The speed is directly proportional to how much coffee you've had and how close you are to a deadline.

OH. MY. GOD. The absolute AUDACITY of corporate America! 😱 The senior dev abandons ship and what does management do? Promotes the junior who JUST figured out how to center a div—the most BASIC of CSS skills! It's like giving someone a Nobel Prize for learning to tie their shoelaces! The look of pure terror on junior dev's face says it all—he knows he's about to be thrown into the deep end of legacy code with nothing but a div-centering life jacket. Meanwhile, the boss is BEAMING with the confidence of someone who thinks HTML is a programming language. The entire codebase is about to become a dumpster fire of epic proportions!