I Was There When The Ancient Code Was Written

That moment when your stomach drops through the floor because you just executed DELETE * FROM users; and suddenly realize you're connected to production instead of your local environment. The five stages of database grief begin: denial, anger, bargaining with the SQL gods, depression, and finally acceptance that your resume needs updating. This is the exact face you make when contemplating how many years of your career just evaporated in a single keystroke. Career-ending query speedrun: WORLD RECORD!

Content Knowing how to write "Hello World" and calling yourself 'dev' Having 20 years of experience but still keeping quiet to avoid fixing printers

That moment when you've spent hours banging your head against a gnarly bug, finally swallow your pride and escalate to the all-knowing software architect... only to watch them stare blankly at your code like a sasquatch contemplating the meaning of existence. Nothing quite matches the existential dread of realizing the final boss of your engineering hierarchy is just as clueless as you are. Time to update the resume or embrace the chaos and start randomly changing variables until something works!

That one-character difference between "deploy" and "destroy" is why senior devs develop eye twitches. John's casual "Good morning, I'm about to destroy the backend and DB" message is the stuff of DevOps nightmares. Even after the desperate calls and pleas, notice how the team member is basically begging John to take a vacation rather than touch anything. When your colleagues would rather pay you to stay home than let you near the codebase, you've achieved a special kind of reputation. The prayer hands emoji is just the universal symbol for "please God don't let this person near our production environment."

Writing incomprehensible code isn't a bug—it's a feature. That senior dev who writes cryptic one-liners with zero comments? They're not sloppy; they're building their legend. Nothing says job security like being the only one who can decipher your own arcane syntax. Sure, your code review might be a disaster, but at least they'll remember your name when the production server catches fire at 3 AM and you're the only one who can fix it. Infamous is still famous in git blame.

Content 1000 JUST BECAUSE IM A SOFT ARE ENGINEER DOESNT MEANICANA COMPUTERS I MEAN 4 CO CO SIS ALS BUT NOT BECAUSE ICAM FIX COMPUTERS IM A SOFTWARE ENGINEER