I Swear It Was Broken Before

Behold the future of coding: a three-button keyboard that distills programming to its purest form—Copy, Paste, and a logo that's probably GitHub or StackOverflow. The hardware manufacturers finally figured out what we actually do all day! Why write original code when someone on the internet already solved your problem? The "expert" part is knowing exactly which code to steal and how to make it look like you understood it in your commit messages. Future job interviews: "How efficiently can you Google?"

Content How I fix stuff working in IT Restart whatever isn't working Quick Google search IT placebo effect: my mere presence has fixed the issue

The naval officer delivers a devastating code review while Captain Jack Sparrow responds with the programmer's ultimate defense mechanism: "But it does run." Nothing captures the essence of desperate programming quite like defending your monstrosity of spaghetti code that somehow—against all laws of computer science—actually executes. Sure, it might have the structural integrity of a house of cards in a hurricane, but hey, green checkmarks all around! That moment when your technical debt is visible from space, but you're still clinging to the bare minimum requirement of "it works." This is why we can't have nice things in production.

Someone discovered "vibe coding" with AI and thinks they're a developer now. Next week they'll discover what debugging AI-generated code is like when their app crashes in production and the error message is just "vibes were off." The honeymoon phase of AI coding always ends when you realize the AI confidently wrote 300 lines of beautiful nonsense that imports packages that don't exist.

HOLD THE PHONE! This developer just committed the ULTIMATE crime against humanity! Adding a 5% chance of random errors in a library?! That's not coding, that's PSYCHOLOGICAL WARFARE! 💀 Imagine spending 6 hours debugging only to discover your error is literally a RANDOM NUMBER GENERATOR deciding your fate. It's like the software equivalent of stepping on LEGO - completely unexpected and absolutely excruciating. And then obfuscating the code?! That's not just evil, that's supervillain-level diabolical. Other developers aren't just contemplating the noose, they're BOOKING THERAPY SESSIONS IN ADVANCE!

Content debugging with print statements debugging by writing to temporary files