I Swear It Was Broken Before

Content print ("here' uses breakpoints and a debugger mai GENiEDO,

The statement "C and C++ are perfect languages for building high-performance systems" is true. The statement "C and C++ aren't only some of the easiest programming languages" is false. So false it hurts. Like segmentation fault hurts. Anyone who calls C/C++ "easy" has either been coding since the 70s or enjoys manual memory management the way some people enjoy getting teeth pulled without anesthesia. Sure, they're blazing fast, but so is falling down a flight of stairs.

BEHOLD! The magnificent Salt Bae of programming! Sprinkling his code with a flamboyant flourish of HTTP status codes and questionable life choices! 💅✨ This coding maestro isn't just writing code - he's PERFORMING ART, darling! Seasoning production environments with 400 Bad Requests, 401 Unauthorized drama, 402 Payment Required (because who doesn't love surprise billing?), and the classic 404 Not Found when everything inevitably crashes and burns! And the pièce de résistance? Those STUPID VARIABLE NAMES that future developers will absolutely SCREAM about during code reviews. "Why is this variable called 'chonkyBoi'? WHY IS THE DATABASE CONNECTION STRING STORED IN 'juicySecret'?!" This is what happens when you code purely on vibes and caffeine, sweetie. The production server never stood a chance! 💔

The first comment: "When I do git blame, it's not about finding the person who did the mistake. I want to find out when the code was added, which task it was related to, and if I need more details, the person who wrote the code." The reply: "I use git blame just to make sure it wasn't me before I go on a tirade..." Ah yes, the two types of developers. The professional who uses tools for their intended purpose, and the rest of us who just want plausible deniability before ranting in Slack. Nothing quite like that moment of relief when you discover someone else wrote that abomination, followed by the crushing realization it was actually you from three years ago.

Content VIBECODERS A PROGRAMMER WHO KNOWS HOW TO CODE AND 7HDEBUGAND UNDERSTANDS CODE BUT ALSO USES VIBECODING TO GENERATE THE MVP ONLY

Content What we say What we mean Horrible hack Horrible hack that I didn't write Temporary workaround Horrible hack that I wrote It's broken There are bugs in your code It has a few issues There are bugs in my code Obscure Someone else's code doesn't have comments Self-documenting My code doesn't have comments That's why it's an awesome language It's my favorite language and it's really easy to do something in it. You're thinking in the wrong mindset It's my favorite language and it's really hard to do something in it. I can read this Perl script I wrote this Perl script I can't read this Perl script I didn't write this Perl script Bad structure Someone else's code is badly organized Complex structure My code is badly organized Bug The absence of a feature I like Out of scope The absence of a feature I don't like Clean solution it works and lunderstand it We need to rewrite it it works but I don't understand it emacs is better than vi It's too peaceful here, let's start a flame war vi is better than emacs It's too peaceful here, let's start a flame war IMHO You are wrong Legacy code It works, but no one knows how XCquit ESCIESCJC I don't know how to quit vi