Condemned To Optimization

Content rShowerthoughts uToomad316 13h The only thing scarier after seeing a bug is not seeing that bug anymore 290 12 I Share

Content How to fix any computer The Oatmeal http:theoatmeal.com Windows Step I. Reboot Did that fix it? No? Proceed to step 2 Step a. Format hard drive. Reinstall Windows. Lose all your files. Quietly weep. Apple Step I. Take it to an Apple store. Did that fix it? No? Proceed to step a Step 2. Buy a new Mac. Overdraw your account. Quietly weep. Linux Step 1. Learn to code in Ct. Recompile the kernel. Build your own microprocessor out of spare silicon you had lying around. Recompile the kernel again. Switch distros. Recompile the kernel again but this time using a CPU powered by refracted light from Saturn. Grow a gant beard. Blame Sun Microsystems. Turn your bedroom into a server closet and spend ten years falling asleep to the sound of whirring fans. Switch distros again. Abandon all hygiene. Write a regular expression that would make other programmers cry blood. Learn to code in Java Recompile the kernel again (but this time while wearing your lucky socks) Did that fix it? No? Proceed to step a n Step a. Revert back to using Windows or a Mac Quietly weep.

Content 8:43 B X G, .il 55 Q rfeedthememes uFurryNOT 7h Gradle held me hostage GRADLE. THIS PIECE OF ACTUAL GARBAGE. I swear, I have completely lost my grip on reality, because I spent FOUR HOURS -I'm not even kidding, four whole hours of my life-trying to get this dumpster fire of a build tool to recognize it downloaded the damn wrapper. BRO. THE SAME WRAPPER IT DOWNLOADED LITERALLY. LIKE. TWO MINUTES AGO. DOES GRADLE HAVE SHORT-TERM MEMORY LOSS? DOES IT NEED A DOCTOR? WHAT IS HAPPENING?? I'm sitting here, tweaking settings, deleting caches, googling every error code like I'm solving a NASA-level equation, and it's just giving me the middle finger at everv turn. I uninstalled. reinstalled, rebooted m computer, sacrificed my last shred of sanity, screamed into the void, and you know what? GRADLE JUST SAT THERE. LAUGHING AT ME. MOCKING MY VERY EXISTENCE. I started questioning my reality. Is this even real? Am I real? Is Gradle actually a glitch in the matrix designed to make me lose what's left of my sanity??? AND THEN. OH. AND THEN. AFTER ALL THAT-AFTER I DESCENDED INTO PURE MADNESS-IT JUST DECIDES TO WORK. OUT OF NOWHERE. I DIDN'T TOUCH A SINGLE THING. I DID NOTHING. AND GRADLE JUST GOES, "LOL JK, WE GOOD NOW." LIKE WHAT??? WHAT WAS ALL THAT FOR, GRADLE?? WHY DID YOU PUT ME THROUGH THIS TORTURE JUST TO RANDOMLY FIX YOURSELF LIKE NOTHING HAPPENED? DO YOU ENJOY MY PAIN? DO YOU FEED OFF MY SUFFERING? I'm done. I'm so done. Gradle has officially broken me. This isn't a build tool. It's a psvchological experiment. I'm convinced. I'm just a shell of a human being now. Thanks, Gradle. THANKS Add a comment

The eternal cycle of software development. Junior dev hands over a note begging for code review before production deployment. Senior dev crumples it without a second thought and tosses it away. Nothing says "I believe in you" quite like throwing someone directly into the fire. The production server makes an excellent teacher - cruel, but effective. That burning sensation? It's just your career growing.

Oh. My. GOD! Someone's actually using the 400 status code instead of just slapping 500 on everything like a lazy barbarian! 💅 The sheer AUDACITY of this developer to actually use proper HTTP status codes! It's like watching a unicorn do calculus—RARE and BEAUTIFUL. The rest of us are over here throwing Internal Server Errors at our users like confetti while this absolute LEGEND is categorizing client errors with surgical precision. I'm not crying, YOU'RE crying! This level of API etiquette should be framed and hung in the Louvre!

Content 1 checked the coding on mat drops: if (hasEnough true) giveMore; else if (hasEnough false) dontGive; Normally I'd grudgingly upvote for haha funny. But you didn't even put the effort into getting the comparison syntax right. is definition. is a boolean check. is a syntax error, my friend. Vote arammerHumor.io