The UPDATE Without WHERE Nightmare

Content jaeQuery cinderlenin "How I Became A Software Engineer In Six Months Without A CS Degree" has degree in electrical engineering or math 21:31 03 Aug 20 Twitter for iPhone 340 Retweets and comments 1,698 Likes 19

Content 2 Awards My husband and I got married just 3 months ago and I found out he's a notorious sleep talker. Some nights he would roll over to me, kiss me full on the mouth, tell me he loves me, then plonk right back on his pillow and start snoring again(this actually happens regularly, much to my delight lol). Other nights he would blurt out things like how he would install a new server at the sherrif's office, or there's a snake on his palm and when I asked what it's doing he answered that it's coding something. I now enjoy staying up late and am a proud owner of several recordings of my husband's sleep talkings. Recently, I got him answering math questions and it tickled me silly how he got them all correct. Edit: Oh, hey! I got awards. Thank youuuu happy dance 4 29k J namewithak 4h 2 Awards Was the snake a Python? 4 1,8k J DokterZ 4h SSSSSSSSSSQL SSSSSSSERVER. 4 453 J

This is a brilliant multi-layered joke that works on so many levels! In "The Matrix," Neo meets the Oracle who offers him a cookie—but in web development, "cookies" are small data files websites store in your browser to track you. So Neo, who's literally fighting against machines that control humans, accepting a cookie from "Oracle" (also a massive tech corporation in real life) is hilariously ironic. It's like the ultimate privacy policy acceptance scene that happened years before web cookies were even mainstream. The perfect intersection of 90s sci-fi and modern web development frustrations!

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Content anthraxlobster Free worldbuilding idea: Wizards have the same trust in magic that software designers have in software, which is to say, almost none at all. "Are you fucking kidding me I worked in a reagrent shop for a few years I don't trust any of that stuff. Who the hell knows what other components are in the ashes." Yeah I was in the circle that made Alston's Divine Circle of Teleportation. There's some pretty nasty corner cases you can get into but the headmaster published it without us. I just take ships. It's way safer." "I call bullshit on that Necromancer channeling spirits of loved ones. What did he say he was using? 'Medium Conduit Ruinic Circles'? That's just a bunch of buzzwords slapped together, and they don't even interact with each other." "I've been looking at this scroll all morning and I'm 90 sure that the scribe didn't even look at the standard for pyromancies." digitaldiscipline "Help Desk, this is Gloriline, what did you fuck up this time?" indistinct vocals "Dave, l've seen the news, and, frankly, I can see the ash cloud from here. You paid for extended support, not enabling support." purewriting "I can't get this fucking spell to work, Jane, can you look it?" passes a scroll a few moments of silence "I think you missed a bookend rune right here-" "GODS DAMN IT! IT'S ALWAYS SHIT LIKE THAT! THANK YOU!" angrily scribbles on parchment (It takes five more aggravatingly tiny adjustments before the spell works) crazy-pages don't play wizards anymore because they're too much like my day job. drackir Instead of a orb the wizard has a little statue of a duck he tells his spells to and then swears when he spots the obvious mistake. beachfox You beat me to it! I was going to add that the reason why wizards and witches always have familiars around is so they can Rubber Duck at them until they realize what the mistake with their spell is! Outsiders get it wrong and figure the familiars are somehow teaching spells to their owners, but no. It's just explaining to Firewing what you're trying to do with this teleportation matrix until you realize that you've been using telepathy crystals to power it the whole time like a FUCKING IDIOT! 53,471 notes g ProdrammerHumor.io

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