Respect them key words!

Content awayjester199902 6h why do you put 2 equal signs? 2 J the-eclectic-chair 6h In a lot of programming languages, 1 equal sign assigns values to keywords, like 10. However, 2 equal signs makes a comparison. So 1 1 will return True while 1 2 will return False. 17 J icneto 2h And then you have JavaScript with to make sure that your elephant is not an orange. 5 J

Content Daniel Cranney danielcraney Which coding language is the most like 'plain English? 13:42 05 Nov 21 Twitter for iPhone 14 Retweets 19 Quote Tweets 364 Likes 17 Jordi jordienr: 21h Replying to danielcranney Does sql count? 9 5 39 Simon Barker allthecode 21h The language where I can understand every word but still have no idea what's going on 9 2 174 138

Nothing says "responsible parenting" quite like abandoning your child with a mainframe computer from the 1970s and a COBOL manual! This is basically the programming equivalent of leaving your kid with dinosaurs as babysitters. That poor child is about to learn that semicolons aren't just for English class and that punch cards were the original "swipe right." The ultimate character-building exercise: debug COBOL or no dinner tonight! Honestly, this might explain why so many banking systems still run on ancient code - those traumatized children grew up and refused to ever touch the code again.

Content rAskReddit ubwee21 2h Which job is a LOT less fun than most people expect? 4 4.7k 1 1.8k Share marvelmarvil 1h 3 Awards programming. please help me. I need a hug. why did I need to be such a nerdy fucking kid when I was younger. Reply 1.0k J

Content There's a repo on Github containing some scripts used by a tech employee that his coworkers discovered after he left the company. Here's a summary of his shenanigans: xxx: OK, so, our build engineer has left for another company. The dude was literally living inside the terminal. You know, that type of a guy who loves Vim, creates diagrams in Dot and writes wiki-posts in Markdown... If something - anything - requires more than 90 seconds of his time, he writes a script to automate that. xXx: So we're sitting here, looking through his, uhm, "legacy" xxx: You're gonna love this xxx: smack-my-bitch-up.sh - sends a text message "late at work" to his wife (apparently). Automatically picks reasons from an array of strings, randomly. Runs inside a cron-job. The job fires if there are active SSH-sessions on the server after 9pm with his login. xxx: kumar-asshole.sh - scans the inbox for emails from "Kumar" (a DBA at our clients). Looks for keywords like "help", "trouble", "sorry" etc. If keywords are found - the script SSHes into the clients server and rolls back the staging database to the latest backup. Then sends a reply "no worries mate, be careful next time xxx: hangover.sh - another cron-job that is set to specific dates. Sends automated emails like "not feeling well gonna work from home" etc. Adds a random "reason" from another predefined array of strings. Fires if there are no interactive sessions on the server at 8:45am. xxx: (and the oscar goes to) fucking-coffee.sh - this one waits exactly 17 seconds (!), then opens a telnet session to our coffee-machine (we had no frikin idea the coffee machine is on the network, runs linux and has a TCP socket up and running) and sends something like sys brew. Turns out this thing starts brewing a mid-sized half-caf latte and waits another 24 (!) seconds before pouring it into a cup. The timing is exactly how long it takes to walk to the machine from the dudes desk. xxx: holy sht I'm keeping those Reply 4 10.3k J

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