Do you have some time to talk about our God PostgreSQL?

Content Beyonc to Drop Diacritical Mark to Support ASCII 4 "It's time to embrace America and all its standards," the megastar expressed in a recent interview. "ASCII is a symbol of the tech foundations of America, and I want to honor that." Queen Bey herself, Beyonce, has announced that she'll be dropping the diacritical mark from her

Content SOL f Sick Quick Lick (SQL), noun: when a female's partner's feeling under the weather and not up for regular sexual intercourse, the SQL is a reliable way of defusing tension and satisfying multiple parties. Simply perform normal cunnilingus (or fellatio, with more tongue action) until completion. Ideally, it should only be a few minutes, lest the SQL turn into SOL (Sick Overtime Lick) and the receiving party becomes SOL. Also, apparently a data query language or something I caught a nasty cold the other day, so I just gave mygf a good SQL ProarammerHumor.io

Oh honey, someone just turned database design into relationship advice and honestly? They're not wrong. The setup is *chef's kiss* – girl asks what you need for a good relationship, and this absolute legend responds with "PRIMARY KEYS" because apparently we're all just living in one giant relational database and nobody told us. For those blissfully unaware: primary keys are what keep your database tables from descending into chaos. They're unique identifiers that make sure every record is special and can be properly referenced – you know, like how you'd want to uniquely identify your significant other instead of accidentally texting the wrong person named "Alex" in your contacts. Without primary keys, your relationships (and your data) would be a hot mess of duplicates and confusion. So yeah, turns out good data integrity and good relationships have more in common than we thought. Who knew SQL was secretly a dating guru this whole time?

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The circle of programming life is brutal. First panel: a fresh-faced beginner in 2025 desperately seeking validation—"Hey does anyone need me?"—while everyone's just like "NAH" and "NO." Fast forward to panel three where suddenly someone needs them... but plot twist! It's to maintain a Microsoft Access database. That final panel with the lightning and demonic glow says everything about inheriting legacy tech. Nothing crushes the soul quite like realizing your shiny CS degree prepared you for... MS Access. The career trajectory we all fear but somehow keep encountering.

Ah, the classic SQL query written by someone who clearly learned database access from a fortune cookie. The SQL is backwards—it should be "SELECT * FROM Customers" but they've written "FROM Customers SELECT *". The real chef's kiss is that this is wrapped in a method called "GetCustomersQuery" inside a class called "Query" which is also creating an object called "query" of type "Query.Query". It's like naming your dog "Dog" and then calling your dog's puppy "Dog.Dog" and then teaching it a trick called "GetDogTrick()". Four years of computer science for this masterpiece. 💀