Why Cpp Why

Someone actually filed a GitHub issue because their cough crashed their program. Let that sink in. Their biological function literally corrupted memory somewhere and brought down code. This is what happens when you code so close to the metal that even your bodily functions can trigger buffer overflows. The real question is - did they try turning their throat off and on again before submitting the ticket?

Someone's job security strategy is absolutely chef's kiss . Instead of writing clean, maintainable code, they've created a function that always returns 2, labeled it as "job security," and then made two helper functions that literally copy memory addresses to change the return value. Nothing says "I'll never be fired" like writing code that only you understand and using memcpy() to overwrite function implementations instead of, you know, just changing the original function. Because why write one line of code when you can write twenty that require a hazmat suit to maintain? Bonus points for the "NEVER call this function" comments that scream "I'm the only one who knows which landmines not to step on." Pure evil genius at work here.

When your antivirus flags a "Hello World" program as malware. That moment when Visual Studio thinks your perfectly innocent C++ code is actually a sophisticated cyber attack. The compiler's paranoia level is over 9000! Meanwhile, you're just sitting there like a misunderstood genius whose revolutionary "print" statement is clearly too powerful for this world. Security systems trembling before the might of your semicolons.

Finally, a technical diagram that's actually accurate! The internet isn't some magical series of tubes - it's a precarious tower of hacks built on the backs of sleep-deprived C developers and powered by cat photos. Love how the foundation is literally just "ELECTRICITY" with Linus Torvalds somehow holding it all together. And that breakdown of internet traffic? 50% cats, 25% games, 20% scams, 4% Rust devs being smug, and a measly 1% actual knowledge. Sounds about right. My favorite part is "web dev sabotaging myself" - nothing like spending 6 hours debugging only to find you misspelled a variable. Meanwhile, unpaid open-source developers are literally holding up the entire structure while AWS collects the check. Next time someone asks me to explain how the internet works, I'm just sending them this instead of giving my usual "it's complicated" speech.

The code shows a variable named ps for a ParticleSystem . Above it are ASCII art comments that look suspiciously like the PlayStation logo. Some developer couldn't resist the urge to add this Easter egg when they saw "PS" – because apparently professional codebases need more corporate logos drawn in ASCII. Management probably thinks this increases shareholder value.

The dad jokes have officially infiltrated the programming community! "Sea Plus Plus" is what happens when programmers go to the beach and can't stop thinking about code. It's probably object-oriented too, with waves inheriting properties from the tide class. Rumor has it the garbage collection is terrible though - just look at all that plastic floating around. Must be running on a single thread since it never crashes despite all the bugs in it.