The Standard I/O Of Love

The dark magic of build systems strikes again! Kitware, the company behind CMake, somehow claims 24 million users despite no one ever voluntarily identifying as a "CMake user." It's like that moment when you realize you've been drafted into an army you never signed up for. The Saruman imagery is perfect because using CMake feels exactly like staring into a mysterious orb that shows you cryptic error messages while slowly draining your will to live. We all just wanted to compile our code, but instead we're part of some grand arcane ritual.

A skeleton sits at a laptop, perfectly capturing the eternal wait C++ developers endure while Python scripts chug along. Sure, Python's great for rapid development, but execution speed? That's where you pay the tax. The C++ dev started the script, died of natural causes, decomposed completely, and the script's still importing pandas. Just another day in cross-language collaboration.

Someone asks if there's a Spanish programming language, and the reply is simply "si++" 😂 It's a brilliant play on words combining the Spanish word "sí" (yes) with the C++ increment operator. Just like C became C++, apparently Spanish becomes Si++. The compiler would probably throw a syntax error for using non-ASCII characters though!

Rejecting modern OOP encapsulation with its fancy "getters and setters" in favor of the raw, chaotic energy of old-school BASIC's "peekers and pokers" - where memory manipulation was done with bare hands and a complete disregard for safety. Like choosing to fix your server with a hammer instead of proper tools because "that's how grandpa did it."

The compiler, that supposedly brilliant piece of software, suddenly loses all its swagger when you try to trick it. Top panel: Directly divide by zero? COMPILER flexes with sunglasses and security-guard energy. "Not today, buddy." Bottom panel: Declare a variable called zero and set it to 0, then divide by that? compiler deflates like a sad balloon, completely oblivious to the impending runtime disaster. It's like watching someone check your ID at the club entrance but failing to notice it's clearly made of cardboard and crayon.

The excitement-to-disappointment pipeline is real. You spend hours hunting for that perfect C++ feature to solve your problem, only to discover it's coming in C++26... which is years away. It's like finding out the solution to your current deadline is scheduled to arrive sometime after your retirement. The crushing realization that you'll have to implement your own janky workaround (again) instead of using that shiny new linear algebra library. Welcome to C++ development, where the future is always bright but perpetually out of reach.