The Dad.h Header File We All Need

OH. MY. GOD. The AUDACITY of this C programmer flexing their ability to write "Hello World" without including the standard I/O library! 😱 For the uninitiated peasants: in C programming, #include <stdio.h> is basically THE library you need to do basic input/output operations like printing text. Writing code without it is like showing up to a gunfight with a homemade slingshot that YOU BUILT FROM SCRATCH. The other fish is just DESTROYED by this flex. Absolutely annihilated. This is the programming equivalent of someone casually mentioning they climbed Everest "on their lunch break." Pure savagery in the C programming world!

The brutal reality of Assembly language summed up in one perfect Carl Sagan reference! When high-level languages let you just import a library and call makePie() , Assembly forces you to manually manage every electron in the universe. Want to print "Hello World"? First define the cosmos, build a CPU from quarks, and then spend 47 lines moving individual bytes into registers. It's like building a skyscraper with tweezers when everyone else is using cranes. No wonder Assembly programmers have that thousand-yard stare—they've seen the void between the bits.

That moment when the professor announces "Now, we are going to start C++" and you can practically feel your remaining sanity evaporating. Those innocent students have no idea they're about to enter a world where memory management errors will haunt their dreams and segmentation faults become their new best friends. Ten weeks from now, half the class will be questioning their life choices while debugging pointer arithmetic at 3 AM. The other half? Already updating their LinkedIn to "proficient in HTML."

Ah, the divine intervention of C++23. Nothing says "prayers answered" quite like std::expected_never() and std::has_single_bit() descending from the heavens. The desperate programmer begging for a sign gets 23 new standard functions instead. Truly blessed are those who update their compilers, for they shall inherit the earth-shattering compile errors of a slightly different syntax.

The secret ingredient to academic success: outsourcing your assembly code homework on Upwork for $30-40/hour! Someone's literally paying a contractor to join a Zoom call and explain their "graduate level assignment" while the code is already done. The beautiful irony of hiring someone to explain code you're supposed to understand yourself. Forget pulling all-nighters with obscure MOV instructions and stack pointers—just find someone to do your academic dirty work! Bonus points for the "No degree mentioned" tag, because apparently you don't need one to help others get theirs.

Ah, the infamous C++ gang war between \0 and endl. Real programmers know this turf battle well. One side uses the null terminator to end strings like a silent assassin, while the other prefers the more verbose endl to flush streams after a newline. The streets of code get messy when these two cross paths in the same codebase. And somewhere in the distance, a senior developer sighs while using neither and opts for '\n' instead.