I Know Why But Why

Ah, the hierarchy of syntax pain! Missing a semicolon? Your compiler throws a fit. But that missing curly brace? That's not just a syntax error—that's an existential crisis waiting to happen. Nothing quite compares to the special hell of hunting down an unmatched bracket in 2000 lines of code at 3 AM while questioning every life decision that led you to this moment. It's not debugging anymore; it's spiritual warfare.

Ah, the classic "I'll mix five languages in seven lines and call it a day" approach! This monstrosity has C++ syntax with iostream and std::cout , but wrapped in Python-style def () function declaration, no parameter names, and curly braces like it's Java or C#. Then there's that mathematical abomination calculating "e" with nested exponents that would make a calculator have an existential crisis. And the cherry on top? Outputting variable x that doesn't even exist while calculating e that's never used. Whoever wrote this clearly graduated from the "chaotic evil" school of programming.

When your antivirus flags a "Hello World" program as malware. That moment when Visual Studio thinks your perfectly innocent C++ code is actually a sophisticated cyber attack. The compiler's paranoia level is over 9000! Meanwhile, you're just sitting there like a misunderstood genius whose revolutionary "print" statement is clearly too powerful for this world. Security systems trembling before the might of your semicolons.

The stark contrast between C++ development experiences couldn't be more dramatic. On Linux, it's all sunshine and rainbows—a delightful adventure where your code compiles without mysterious errors and dependencies actually make sense. Meanwhile, C++ on Windows transforms you into a hardened noir detective, chain-smoking through the night as you investigate why your perfectly valid code is being accused of crimes it didn't commit. The cigarette isn't for style—it's a coping mechanism for dealing with Visual Studio's cryptic error messages and DLL hell. No wonder Windows C++ developers look like they've seen things... terrible things.

A classic language war in its natural habitat! Someone makes the bold claim that C/C++ and assembly are unbeatable performance kings, only to be countered by the chaotic suggestion to "google Fortran Tutorial." The third commenter's "Holy hell" perfectly captures that moment when you realize Fortran—that ancient scientific computing language from the 1950s—still outperforms modern languages in numerical computations. It's like watching someone bring a calculator to a smartphone fight and somehow win. The real punchline? All three comments have exactly 1 point each. Nobody's winning this war.

C++ developers watching Rust evangelists talk about memory safety is the programming equivalent of a wolf staring down a chihuahua. Sure, the chihuahua is making valid points about not eating the neighbors, but the wolf's been managing just fine with raw power and sharp teeth for decades, thank you very much. After 35 years of manual memory management, we've seen some things. And yeah, maybe we've caused a few segfaults that took down production servers at 2AM, but that's just character building.