Average C++ Developer

The CS freshman starter pack is brutally accurate! They write "Hello World" once and suddenly have 4 programming languages on their LinkedIn. Their entire development environment consists of VS Code and GitKraken because the terminal is "scary." Their idea of deployment? Submitting assignments through Canvas. They'll spend hours hunting for that missing semicolon while sharing Boromir memes, and their entire personality revolves around the Minecraft-inspired "noob vs pro" dichotomy. The gatekeeping begins before they've even built anything substantial!

OMG, the AUDACITY of this pick-up line! 💀 For the uninitiated souls: stdio.h is the standard input/output header file in C programming that you MUST #include if you want your program to actually, you know, FUNCTION like a normal member of society. This programmer is basically saying "I can't possibly exist without you" in the nerdiest way humanly possible. It's the digital equivalent of writing a sonnet except WORSE because it involves SYNTAX. The absolute DESPERATION of turning basic programming requirements into romance is just... *chef's kiss* tragic brilliance.

Oh, sweet summer child who thinks game development is just pressing the "make cool game" button! That facepalm moment when you realize that 3D graphics are basically advanced calculus wearing a trench coat. Unity, OpenGL, Autodesk, and C++ aren't just laughing at you—they're laughing geometrically in vectors and matrices. Every physics simulation, every lighting effect, every character movement is pure, unadulterated mathematics having a party on your GPU. The irony is exquisite—running away from math class straight into the loving arms of linear algebra, differential equations, and quaternions. It's like saying "I hate getting wet" and then announcing your dream career is "professional submarine captain."

Listen, there are certain sacred traditions in coding that you just don't question. Using i and j as loop variables isn't a choice—it's practically written in the ancient scrolls of computer science. Passed down from the FORTRAN elders to every generation since. Try using pancake and waffle as your nested loop variables during a code review and watch your senior dev have an existential crisis. The programming gods will smite you with merge conflicts for the rest of eternity. Sure, we could use more descriptive variable names, but that would be... reasonable? And we can't have that. IT'S THE LAW!

Ah, the sacred rite of passage for every C programmer! That moment when your code finally springs a memory leak is like joining an exclusive club you never wanted to be part of. You've been living in blissful ignorance with your garbage-collected languages, thinking memory management is someone else's problem. Then BAM! Your C program starts consuming RAM like a hungry hippo, and you're frantically Googling "valgrind tutorial" at 3 AM. The squirrel's celebratory pose perfectly captures that twisted sense of achievement. "Finally! I've graduated from 'Hello World' to 'Goodbye Available Memory'!"

C++ is basically that friend who says "I'll warn you this is a terrible idea" and then hands you the chainsaw anyway. Casting bits to arbitrary types? Sure! The compiler will give you a stern lecture about memory safety and undefined behavior, but ultimately shrug and say "your funeral, buddy." This is the twisted romance of C++ development—a toxic relationship where you're given enough rope to hang your entire codebase, and you thank the language for it. "That's why I love C++" indeed. Stockholm syndrome has never been so efficiently compiled.