Average C++ Developer

OH MY GODDD! This is what happens when you try to outsmart a literal GENIE who understands DATA TYPES! 🤦‍♀️ When you ask for ZERO wishes, the genie treats it as an unsigned char (8-bit integer that can only store positive values from 0 to 255). So instead of getting nothing, you OVERFLOW to the MAXIMUM VALUE! The genie basically said "Task failed successfully!" and gave you 255 wishes instead! Honestly, this is the kind of bug that would make me scream into my keyboard at 2PM on a Tuesday. Congratulations, you've accidentally hacked the wish system through integer overflow. Someone needs to patch the genie firmware ASAP!

Finding someone who understands memory allocation is like finding a unicorn. Your partner knows stack memory is for fixed-size, temporary variables that get cleaned up automatically, while heap memory is for dynamic, longer-lived objects you have to manually manage? Marry them immediately. Meanwhile, the rest of us are still explaining to our significant others why we can't just "pause the online game" during a raid boss fight.

Congratulations, you've received the ultimate programmer dad gift - a mug that basically declares your father superior to all other fathers using C syntax. The code iterates through all dads in existence, marks yours as kBestDad , and relegates everyone else's to kRegularDad status. It's basically a Father's Day card written by someone who thinks semicolons are punctuation marks for real life conversations. The only thing missing is a function that prints "Hi Hungry, I'm Dad" whenever you mention food.

Python developers looking at pointers like they've been handed instructions in ancient Sumerian. "Memory address? We don't do that here." Python abstracts away memory management so thoroughly that asking a Python dev about pointers is like asking a fish about bicycle maintenance. They've heard rumors such things exist in the C/C++ wilderness, but they've been living in garbage-collected luxury for too long to remember the details.

So Microsoft wants to eliminate C and C++ by 2030 using AI to rewrite their entire codebase. Because nothing says "brilliant strategy" like letting algorithms rewrite millions of lines of battle-tested code that's been running critical systems for decades. The hubris is *chef's kiss*. They're so busy flexing their AI muscles that they forgot to ask the most important question: just because you CAN automate the rewriting of foundational infrastructure doesn't mean you SHOULD. What could possibly go wrong with AI touching code that powers Windows, Office, and Azure? It's not like memory safety bugs are subtle or anything. The Jeff Goldblum meme from Jurassic Park is the perfect response here. They were so preoccupied with whether they could use AI to eliminate C/C++, they didn't stop to think if they should. Because replacing decades of institutional knowledge and battle-hardened code with AI-generated Rust (presumably) is definitely going to go smoothly. No edge cases, no undefined behavior gotchas, just pure algorithmic magic. Sure.

That rare, godlike feeling when your multi-function monstrosity compiles without a single error on the first try. Suddenly you're not just a developer—you're practically royalty in the kingdom of code. The compiler bows to your superior syntax. Runtime errors? Those are for peasants. For approximately 3.7 seconds, before you realize your logic is completely broken, you sit on your throne feeling like the supreme overlord of programming. Bow before me, mortals, for I am the Chosen One who doesn't need Stack Overflow today!