This Can't Be Coincidence

Content STOP USING DOCKER APPLICATIONS WERE NOT MEANT TO BE TRAPPED IN VIRTUAL JARS LIKE DIGITAL FIREFLIES YEARS OF SOFTWARE DEVELOPMENT yet NO ONE QUESTIONED WHY WE'RE PUTTING PROGRAMS IN IMAGINARY BOATS "Let's containerize our monolith", "I'll just quickly spin up 17 microservices" -- Statements dreamt up by the utterly deranged OBSERVE the WHALE-SIZED DECEPTION they've FOOLED us with all this time (These are REAL IMAGES used to EXPLAIN DOCKER) ??????? ????????????????? Ahoy matey, I'd like to run my website in a virtual sea shanty They have plaved us for absolute fools

Content how will I run print(Hello World") I'll run in a docker container But how will I run docker TIl run a A ANSIBLE plavbook! But how will I run A ANSIBLE TIl run in a container! docker MID ViD ProdrammerHumor

The microservices vs monolith debate just got a wellness angle. Running 700 microservices? You're basically speedrunning a stress-induced breakdown with Kubernetes configs, service mesh nightmares, distributed tracing chaos, and inter-service communication failures that'll have you questioning your career choices. Your cortisol gauge is pinned in the red zone. But one glorious monolith? Pure zen. One codebase, one deployment, one database, one log file to grep through. No distributed transactions, no eventual consistency headaches, no debugging requests bouncing through seventeen different services. Just you, your code, and inner peace. The cortisol meter barely moves. Turns out the secret to engineer happiness isn't meditation or yoga—it's architectural simplicity. Who knew that "keep it simple, stupid" was actually a mental health prescription?

Content DevOps You're just a cheap ficking knockoff. DevSecOps Oh no, I'm the upgrade.

Content Looking to hire a Jr Data Scientist: - 15 years Python - 30 years SQL - 20 vears AWS -15 years Spark -15 years Terraform - Core contributor to assembly code base - Team plaver - Should have some sort of martial arts experience, whether Ninja, Jujitsu, or Karate. All 3 is preferred. - Knows SQL, NoSQL, NewSQL and all future flavors of SOL - Proiect Management experience - Strong experience with Keras, TensorFlow, Sklearn, XGBoost and preferably has written their own ML library from scratch. - Should have published at least 2 top level academic papers preferably focused around a Convolutional Recurrent Back-propagating Neural Network - Open source contributor at least 5 projects. - Experience leading teams of 10,000 people or more - Managed CICD pipeline for an application with at least 2 billion daily users -Should have at least 1 PhD, 5 is preferred. Yes, we have ping pong tables and an open floor plan and lots of salty snacks in the breakroom. Organic Kombucha on tap. The interviews will consist of a 5 day process of whiteboarding algorithms from scratch followed by writing your own compiler and a coding exam will be taken at random from the 20 most popular programming languages.

Content When you type so fast your IDE can't show you syntax error highlights made with mematic ProdrammerHumor.io lam speed