Cloudflare, No! AWS, Also No!

The evolution of developer excuses is truly magnificent. We went from "it works on my machine" (the universal get-out-of-jail-free card) to "it works on my container!" - which is basically the same excuse wearing a fancy DevOps hat. Notice how the developer on the right is smiling while delivering the exact same non-solution. That's the true innovation of DevOps - not solving problems, just feeling better about them while using trendier terminology. Congratulations, we've containerized our excuses. Ship it!

Content ?php header ("Content-type: texthtml; charsetutf-8"); This is a warning to any poor soul who may have to deal with this code. I took over this criminal piece of chaos from a monkey named Joel who I assume had been given a typewriter by Mephistopheles himself. For reasons I have yet been unable to fathom, he decided to patch together this thing using a BaseX setup hardwired into an unfixably broken Manjaro VM, queried by a handwritten plate of uncommented PH spaghetti fit to feed an army of people with a serious death wish, without any framework or CMS. The very long BaseX script, very long PH presenter and very long XSLT stylesheet mostly perform the same heuristic document structuring for different components and are supposed to produce compatible results, but I bet they have mismatches somewhere. Since Prof. T just wanted a few small functional enhancements, I decided to just patch it and keep the general setup. Unless you were hired to correct some spelling mistakes, DO NOT FOLLOW IN MY STEPS. Putting up with this simulation of how a goldfish would design a system has literally given me CLINICAL DEPRESSION. This is not an exaggeration, I am writing this after a prolonged medical therapy - mostly successful, thanks for asking, but not fun. I wouldn't wish this code on anybody who isn't a manager at Oracle or Facebook, and therefore give you this sincere advice: Nuke this. Take the XSLT if you must, and then nuke the app and recreate it in Django or whatever works for you. I would do it myself, but I risked a relapse simply by opening this file again to write this comment. Dear brother or sister, I wish you all the luck and strength in the world and hope it will be enough. Farewell. error reporting (E ALL); ini set ("display errors", true); print '?xmi version"1.o" encoding"UTFg" 7'

OH. MY. GOD. The ABSOLUTE PERFECTION of this timing! 💀 New employee at Cloudflare: "Just made some optimizations, hope you enjoyed the smoother experience!" *smiles innocently* Meanwhile, THE ENTIRE INTERNET was literally BURNING TO THE GROUND because Cloudflare had a catastrophic outage that took down half the web! Imagine the sheer AUDACITY of accidentally causing a global internet meltdown on your FIRST DAY and then BRAGGING about making things "smoother"! That smug little smile is worth every penny of the billions in economic damage. I'm DECEASED. ⚰️

Content else if riid as uuidof (IDXGIFactory)) yes I know PRECISELY how fucked up this is. Speak to microsoft - after KB2670838 the internal D3D11 device creation function will pass in uuidof (IDXGIFactory) then attempt to call EnumDevices1 (which as in the IDXGIFactorya vlable). boing this should be safe as using a IDXGIFactoryl like a IDXGIFact should all just work by definition, but there's no way to know now if someone trying to create a IDXGI really means it or not. IDXGIFactoryl real - (IDXGIFactoryl )(ppvobject); ppvobject new wrappedloxolractory1 real; recurr cruce king shit-ass hack 11 xbOX True and args xboxhack: candidates 'atArray', 'rage::atArray', ' for namo incandidates if func.startswith(name) queue while i item stripentry(name, stack.pop()) queue. append tem extern void DrawSolidCappedCylinder( We don't want to delete our actual export cam because We may have some proprties from the exporter set o 1t FUCK KNOWS WHY WE WOULD DO THAT, CRAZY!!! if iExpCamItem. Name ! "ExportCamera": 1ExportCamDeleteList.append(iExpCamItem) -THESE FUCKING LOD CAMERA ARE A MASSIVE PAIN IN THE FUCKING ARSE or oban obnecus do if classof obj Targetcamera do format Deleting LOD Camera... In) appendifUnique camshit obi Just fucking kill me. extern void DrawSpiral(Vec3V In star if classof obj Targetobject do format ("Deleting Target001... In") appendifunique camshit obj while len queue) O item queue. pop delete camshit -- FUCKING THINGS. If we have no more open requests, we can re-enable HD vehicles This is Fucking voodoo, and sucks. I'm open for suggestions for a better approach. if (strStreamingEngine::GetInfo.GetNumberObjectsRequested) 0) Vehicle: :SetDisableHDVehicles(false); WARNING - START THE FOLLOW CODE IS OPTIMIZED! DON'T FUCK WITH IT! - - - Languages ------; Note: For some fucked reason adding this removes borders from buttons. This system is mental! I insertmacro MUILANGUAGE "English" ProdrammerHumor.io

Content Your first podcast will be awful Your first video will be awful Your first article will be awful Your first art will be awful Your first photo will be awful Your first game will be awful But your first code will be perfect. Zero bugs and a very clean code. It will be "Hello World" Me: ››> Print ("Hellow World!") Traceback (most recent call last): File " ", line 1, in Print ("Hellow World!") NameError: name 'Print' is not defined >›>

Content MICROSERVICES SCALABILITY, SMALL AND INDEPENDENT APPS CONTAINERS, ORCHESTRATION, API GATEWAYS, AUTOSCALING, LOAD BALANCING, EVENT DRIVEN ARCHITECTURE INTEGRATION, MESSAGE BUSES, SERVICE DISCOVERY, PUBSUBS, ASYNC, COMMUNICATION PROTOCOLS MONITORING, TRACING, LOGGING, DEBUGGING, SECURITY DISTRIBUTED OBJECTS, EVENTUAL CONSISTENCY, BOUNDED CONTEXTS, TRANSACTIONS, SAGAS, NETWORK PARTITIONS SHARDING, DISTRIBUTED MONOUTH, CACHING, DISTRIBUTED SCHEMA, MONOREPO