Yeah, Fuck That

Privacy in tech is like that friend who says they'll keep your secret but immediately posts it on Facebook. Safari claims to be the privacy champion, then casually sets Google—the data vacuum of the internet—as the default search engine. It's like installing a security door with a neon sign pointing to the spare key under the mat. The shocked cat perfectly captures that moment when you realize your "private" browsing history is being monetized faster than you can say "targeted advertising."

Content Liz Wheeler Liz Wheeler 3h If Apple Google boot Twitter from their app stores, elonmusk should produce his own smartphone. Half the country would happily ditch the biased, snooping iPhone Android. The man builds rockets to Mars, a silly little smartphone should be easy, right? 2,783 17 3,264 21.4K Elon Musk elonmusk Replying to LizWheeler I certainly hope it does not come to that, but, yes, if there is no other choice, I will make an alternative phone 12:25 AM 26 Nov 22 Twitter for iPhone 2,695 Retweets 476 Quote Tweets 23.1K Likes

Oh, the AUDACITY of tech reviewers constantly flexing about MacBook superiority while PC users are just sitting there like "cool story bro, but I literally cannot run macOS even if I wanted to." It's like watching someone rave about how amazing their exclusive country club is while you're standing outside the velvet rope going "yeah well I CHOSE not to join anyway!" Sure, MacBooks might have that buttery smooth trackpad and that chef's-kiss build quality, but guess what? Some of us are perfectly happy with our Windows machines that actually let us game, upgrade our RAM without selling a kidney, and don't require seventeen dongles just to plug in a USB drive. The rage is REAL when every laptop review devolves into "but compared to a MacBook..." like sir, I'm shopping for a $800 laptop, not joining a cult.

Content How to fix any computer The Oatmeal Windows Step I. Reboot Apple Step I. Take it to an Apple store. v Did that fix it, No? Proceed to step a Did that fix it; No? Proceed to step a Step a. Format hard drive Reinstall Windows Lose all your files. Quietly weep. Step a. Buy a new Mac. Overdraw your account. Quietly weep. Linux Step I. Learn to code in C. Recompile the kernel. Build your own microprocessor out of spare silicon you had lying around. Recompile the kernel again. Switch distros Recompile the kernel again but this time using a CPU powered by refracted light from Saturn. Grow a giont beard. Blame Sun Microsusters. Turn your bedroom into a server closet and spend ten years falling asleep to the sound of whirring fans. Switch distros again. Abandon all hugene. Write a regular expression that would make other precrammers cry blood. Learn to code in Java Recompile the kernel again Cut thic time while wearing your lucky socks) Did that fix its Nor Proceed to step an Step a. Revert back to using Windows or a Mac. Quietlu weep.

Remember when laptops had ports? Like, actual ports you could use? VGA, Ethernet, USB-A, headphone jack, maybe even a DVD drive if you were fancy. Those thicc boys on the left let you swap RAM, upgrade storage, and occasionally even replace the CPU without needing a degree in microsurgery. Now we've got these ultra-thin fashion statements that throttle at 80°C, have everything soldered to the motherboard, and require a dongle for literally everything. Sure, they look sleek in coffee shops, but good luck fixing anything yourself. One component dies? Better sell a kidney for a new motherboard. The industry convinced everyone that 2mm of thickness savings was worth sacrificing repairability, upgradeability, and thermal performance. We traded function for form, and now we're stuck with laptops that are basically expensive disposable devices. Real men prefer fat laptops because they actually want their hardware to last longer than the warranty period.

Content Y Hacker News new threads past comments ask show jobs submit best 1. A "AI is dangerous", says CEO of Sigma Technologies (arxiv.org) 1678 points by Akronymus 5 days ago 874 comments 2. A Apple to invest 200 millions in PHP (techcrunch.com) 1371 points by topshelf 5 days ago 835 comments 3. A California bans Taco Tuesdays (forbes.com) 1229 points by etiam 4 days ago 470 comments 4. A Why I stopped using toilet paper (substack.com) 820 points by mfiguiere 4 days ago 729 comments 5. A Rust 4.3.2 released (rust-lang.org) 790 points by werner 3 days ago 157 comments 6. A Stop using compilers (medium.com) 750 points by dagurp 4 days ago 432 comments ProgrammerHumor.