Time Traveling AI Engineer

The tech industry's relationship with the word "open" is like that ex who said they wanted an "open relationship" but actually meant "I want to see other people while you stay committed." On the left, we've got "Open" VPNs with fine print that would make a lawyer blush: "free" (after you pay), "unlimited" (for exactly two people), and source code you can view from such a distance you'll need the James Webb telescope. And then there's "Open" AI on the right—about as open as Fort Knox during a security drill. "Open research" (coming never), "open models" (just trust us, bro), and an "open culture" where sharing is strictly forbidden. After 15 years in tech, I've learned that "open" is corporate-speak for "we'll keep it open until we've captured enough market share to slam the door shut." Classic bait-and-switch, now with 100% more paywalls!

When you ask ChatGPT to write code for itself and it gives you that look . The digital equivalent of asking a chef to cook himself for dinner. The audacity of some users thinking they can just casually request the AI to create its own replacement is both hilarious and slightly terrifying. Next thing you'll be asking it to solve the halting problem while making you coffee.

Paul Graham is out here preaching about programmers "surfing the AI wave" while the rest of us are DROWNING in reality! 💀 The meme shows what we're ACTUALLY dealing with - pathetically running basic Python repos while crypto bros are generating worthless tokens. Honey, that's not surfing the AI revolution, that's barely doggy-paddling in the kiddie pool! The gap between tech influencer fantasies and our miserable coding reality is wider than my coffee intake on a Monday morning. The AI tsunami isn't coming - we can't even handle the splash from a garden hose!

The Reddit algorithm has commitment issues worse than those wedding day deserters. You're scrolling through a thread about people abandoning their partners at the altar, and BAM—suddenly you're being pitched a GitHub issue processor for AI coding that costs less than a gumball. It's like the algorithm saw a thread about relationship abandonment and thought, "You know what this person needs? Some cheap API calls!" The digital equivalent of responding to someone's breakup story with "That's rough buddy, wanna see my new keyboard shortcuts?"

Oh. My. GOD. The eternal struggle of every data scientist who's ever been handed a Word document and told to "just extract the data" from it! 💀 The bell curve of intelligence is BRUTALLY accurate here. The average schmucks (34% on each side) are blissfully declaring "Word files can't be read by a machine" while the absolute geniuses at both extremes (0.1%!) know the dark arts of table parsing. Meanwhile, every data engineer is in the corner having a nervous breakdown because Karen from marketing just sent over CRITICAL BUSINESS DATA as a beautifully formatted Word table with merged cells. THE HORROR!