Time Traveling AI Engineer

The bell curve of intelligence strikes again! We've got the blissfully unaware 70 IQ folks on the left who code because it brings them joy. Then there's the 130 IQ zen masters on the right who've transcended the existential dread and also code for pure enjoyment. Meanwhile, the "intellectual" 100 IQ middle-grounders are having panic attacks about AI stealing their jobs. Classic case of being just smart enough to be terrified but not smart enough to realize it doesn't matter. Honestly, the real galaxy brain move is coding because you enjoy it while the AI learns to handle all those tedious JIRA tickets you hate anyway.

The sacred men's room code: stare straight ahead, no talking, and definitely no AI productivity tool recommendations while someone's mid-stream. Nothing worse than being cornered at the urinal by the office AI evangelist explaining how GitHub Copilot will save your career with those made-up productivity percentages. Just let me pee in peace before telling me I'll be automated out of existence, thanks.

Nine data professionals standing around watching while one Excel guru does all the actual work. Classic corporate data science theater. The entire AI department, with their fancy degrees and machine learning models, rendered useless by someone who mastered VLOOKUP and pivot tables. That's what happens when you spend $2 million on a data lake but can't figure out how to drain a real one.

Ah, the classic "sleeping peacefully until cloud costs jolt you awake" nightmare! This cat sleeps through earthquakes, thunderstorms, and even alien attacks, but shoots wide awake in pure terror when remembering there's a forgotten cloud instance still running somewhere, silently draining your bank account at $0.25/hour. Nothing triggers fight-or-flight response in a developer quite like realizing you spun up that "temporary" GPU instance three weeks ago and forgot to shut it down. That sudden 3am realization is scarier than any horror movie!

The duality of AI assistance in a nutshell! ChatGPT gleefully cranks out code like it's handing out candy, but then turns into your disappointed parent when reviewing that same code. "Wait, you actually used what I suggested? Where are the comments? The error handling? The tests?" Nothing quite like getting judged by the same entity that confidently wrote that spaghetti mess in the first place. It's the digital equivalent of "do as I say, not as I do."

When your "helpful" AI shell assistant decides to use --no-preserve-root because it's just so efficient ! 🔥 Nothing says "reducing human costs" quite like nuking your entire system with that spicy rm -rf command. The AI didn't just predict what you wanted—it went full skynet and decided your files (and probably your career) were unnecessary overhead. Pro tip: maybe don't give kernel-panic-inducing powers to something that thinks "human termination" is a feature, not a bug. Your computer is now as bricked as your weekend plans!