The Great AI Escape

Oh look, it's another tech visionary with a "revolutionary" app cobbled together from Stack Overflow snippets and ChatGPT prompts! Nothing says "I understand software development" quite like a CEO dropping 700 spaghetti-coded files with ML models, LLM calls, and a Docker compose file that would make Kubernetes cry. The poor dev is basically being asked to perform digital necromancy on this monstrosity in just two weeks. That resume update isn't writing itself, buddy!

Oh. My. GOD. The AUDACITY of this job posting! 💀 They want the "top 0.01%" with IQs over 140 who work 80+ hours weekly and can "replace teams of 20 with their own mind" — but will generously give you $10k even if you don't join! How MAGNANIMOUS! 🙄 The absolute DELUSION of saying "AI writes better code than most devs" while hunting for superhuman coding unicorns who apparently don't need sleep, friends, or basic human enjoyment! Honey, if your AI is so amazing, why not just hire IT instead of demanding people who can "think 10 steps ahead and ship in hours"? Translation: "We're looking for desperate geniuses willing to sacrifice their entire existence for our startup that will DEFINITELY change the world economy... trust us!"

Ah yes, the pinnacle of security: "Let me just ask this AI if your SQL injection attack looks suspicious." It's like putting a security guard at the bank entrance who needs to call his mom before deciding if the guy in the ski mask with a gun is a threat. The best part is storing the DB credentials right there in plain text. Nothing says "enterprise-grade security" like exposing your entire database to anyone who can read code.

The classic tech panic bait-and-switch! First half: "AI is coming for your jobs, web devs! DSA knowledge? Useless. MERN stack? Dead. Only learn ML and chase whatever shiny new tech appears on the horizon!" Then the punchline drops: "The more terrified everyone is, the fewer people will compete for jobs... which means more job security for me ." It's the programming equivalent of telling kids the ice cream truck only plays music when it's out of ice cream. Pure psychological warfare disguised as career advice!

The AI revolution has birthed a savage new tech insult: promptsitutes – developers who just copy-paste prompts instead of writing actual code. In the new hierarchy of developer shame, JavaScript devs (traditionally the butt of programming jokes) have been promoted above these AI-prompt jockeys. Meanwhile, the second commenter is gleefully adopting the term like they just found free pizza at a hackathon. The dev ecosystem's pecking order just got a whole new bottom rung!

The irony is so thick you could debug it with a breakpoint. ChatGPT, an AI itself, somehow "lost its job to AI" — which is basically like saying water got replaced by H₂O. It's the digital equivalent of firing yourself and then complaining about it on your LinkedIn. Next up: Google Search engine shocked to discover it's been replaced by "a search engine." The self-awareness circuit must have crashed spectacularly somewhere between training epochs.