Thanks But No Thanks, AI

Nothing says "I'm helping" like an AI that can't even match parentheses properly. Those unbalanced brackets and braces in Google's Gemini ad are the coding equivalent of nails on a chalkboard. Sure, let the AI write your code—if you enjoy debugging cryptic syntax errors at 2AM while questioning your career choices. "Streamline your workflow" they say... more like "streamline your path to Stack Overflow." The irony of a code-generating tool that can't generate syntactically correct code in its own marketing material is just *chef's kiss*.

Ah yes, the tech stack of reality. The entire digital world balances precariously on the backs of DNS and some sleep-deprived open source devs who maintain critical libraries for pizza and GitHub stars. Meanwhile, AWS charges you if you breathe near their servers, AI is just getting started with world domination, and Microsoft is off in the corner doing... whatever Microsoft does. Probably restarting for updates.

The ultimate tech resume flex: listing every framework, library, and tool you've ever glanced at for 0.5 seconds. That massive word salad of technologies—from Python to TensorFlow to "purrr"—is peak developer peacocking. The punchline is genius though. Asking recruiters to identify which ones are Pokémon is the perfect trap since several of these actually sound like Pokémon names (looking at you, "sparklyR" and "vulpix"—and yes, Vulpix is actually a fire-type Pokémon). It's the perfect litmus test for technical recruiters who claim to understand what you do but can't tell a data visualization library from something that shoots thunderbolts.

When your CS professor says "implement a sorting algorithm" but you've got an OpenAI API key and zero shame. This dev just created the world's most expensive sorting function by literally asking GPT-4 to be a sorting algorithm! Sure, it works—but imagine burning through API credits to sort [42, 3, 99, 7, 13] when a simple Array.sort() would do the trick. The true innovation here is maximizing both latency AND cost while solving a problem that was figured out decades ago. Congratulations, you've invented O(API) complexity—where the limiting factor is your credit card limit!

When you ask two AI models the same basic math question and get completely opposite answers. Deepseek correctly identifies that 9.9 > 9.11 (treating them as decimals), while ChatGPT somehow thinks 9.11 > 9.9. This is why we still have jobs. For now. Nothing says "trust me with your critical systems" like failing elementary school math. Somewhere, a software engineer is using this screenshot in their slide deck titled "Why Human QA Still Matters".

OH. MY. GOD. The absolute CARNAGE of career trajectories! 2025 is coming for data scientists with a VENGEANCE! 💀 While AI engineers strut around looking like they just walked off a Silicon Valley fashion runway, data scientists are transforming into depressed philosophers drowning their sorrows at the bar! The AUDACITY of this career market! Remember when everyone and their mother was rushing to become a data scientist? "It's the sexiest job of the 21st century!" they screamed. Well, honey, the AI revolution waits for NO ONE. Those fancy regression models aren't looking so hot now that ChatGPT can do your entire job while also writing poetry about it!