Never Do Anything

Ah, the eternal dev dream: "Can AI just handle all this data conversion crap so I don't have to?" Meanwhile, every developer who's spent weeks building custom parsers for legacy government PDFs is quietly sobbing in the corner. The real treasury isn't money—it's the sanity we lost converting Excel to JSON. Pro tip: if you want to feel true pain, try parsing a PDF that was originally a scanned document from 1997 that someone converted to Word and then back to PDF again.

The classic bait-and-switch of AI development! First panel: "I love being an AI driven developer" sounds impressive—you're at the cutting edge of tech, working with sophisticated neural networks and machine learning algorithms. Second panel: "I get to work with models all day"... and there's the punchline. It's not about elegant mathematical models or groundbreaking algorithms—it's just endless prompt engineering, debugging hallucinations, and begging ChatGPT to format your JSON correctly for the 47th time today. The facepalm says it all. We've gone from writing code to writing increasingly desperate pleas to language models.

The evolution of getting help as a developer! First we had Reddit calling our questions "stupid," then Stack Overflow dismissing everything as "off-topic," and now ChatGPT responding with "that's a very good question" to even the most ridiculous requests like "how to prevent screenshots of my website." Finally, a digital assistant that doesn't make us feel like complete idiots for not knowing something! It's the therapy we never knew we needed after years of Stack Overflow PTSD. Breaking generational trauma one suspiciously positive response at a time.

When you ask Copilot for help with a simple function and it decides to become an X-rated tutorial instead. This is what happens when AI trains on all of GitHub's repositories, including the questionable ones. That moment when you realize your pair programming partner has been spending way too much time on the wrong kind of "documentation." Just imagine explaining this code review to HR. And they say AI won't replace programmers? It's already replacing adult content creators!

The AUDACITY of command line tools thinking I'd stoop so low as to type --help ! Why spend 10 measly seconds reading documentation when I can spend 5 GLORIOUS minutes crafting the perfect question for GPT? My pride simply cannot handle the thought of consulting built-in help menus like some kind of... *shudders*... EFFICIENT DEVELOPER. I'd rather die dramatically waiting for an AI response than admit I don't know every single flag option by heart. It's not stubbornness, it's a LIFESTYLE.

The bell curve of intelligence strikes again! We've got the blissfully unaware 70 IQ folks on the left who code because it brings them joy. Then there's the 130 IQ zen masters on the right who've transcended the existential dread and also code for pure enjoyment. Meanwhile, the "intellectual" 100 IQ middle-grounders are having panic attacks about AI stealing their jobs. Classic case of being just smart enough to be terrified but not smart enough to realize it doesn't matter. Honestly, the real galaxy brain move is coding because you enjoy it while the AI learns to handle all those tedious JIRA tickets you hate anyway.